Post by Publicist on Jun 17, 2023 13:43:53 GMT -5
JUNE 17, 2023
WRAP-UP
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: This is SHOTS FIRED! I’m Johnny Fever, here with my main man on the speaker, Venus Flytrap!
Venus Flytrap: You damn right!
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: Okay! We have been on hiatus for several weeks due to a studio move that still isn’t complete, but there was no way in hell that we were going to miss out on a chance to celebrate The Hit Girls finally capturing the LFL Wonder Cup after so many heart-breaking endings to season after season! It took a ton of hard work and sacrifice to see Cincy finally win the big one!
Venus Flytrap: Cincy got off to a rough start with only Honey being able to put points on the board, splitting the uprights after our first drive stalled. After that, it was all Does, jumping ahead off a touchdown pass and a field goal that Cincy couldn’t answer.
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: Coach Raheem and the rest of the team went into the locker room looking for answers to the Does attack and it was looking for all the world like another let down for Cincy, only this time on a grand stage.
Venus Flytrap: I don’t know what Coach, Angie, or AMC said, but Cincy came out and immediately tied up the game with Maria taking the opening kickoff of the second half 97-yards to the house! It was a sensational highlight and it really got the fans fired up! If it wasn't for the Gridiron Girdle, she wouldn't have had the energy to do that!
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: Will you stop it?! Anyway, the Does got hit with a hurricane of penalties as they were taken out of their game by the sudden strike. The Hit Girls receiving core of Coda and Dixon found holes in the secondary and Vaughn made the most of it as they moved into the red zone and Salvatore-Spencer found the endzone a second time!
Venus Flytrap: It was like the floodgates opened in Cincy and everything was going their way in the second half...until the fourth quarter when Roxy was flagged for a VERY questionable helmet to helmet hit that allowed the Does to pull within 4 points.
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: Not trying to be controversial, just trying to be fair…if Cotton had gotten hit like that…
Venus Flytrap: OH, HELL NAW! WE WOULD HAVE RIOTED!!
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: That’s what I figured.
Venus Flytrap: The refs were seriously debating putting Roxy out of the game. If it wasn’t for Coach pitching a fit on the sidelines, the game would have been lost! Instead, it was the BEST wide receiver in the LFL that made the big grab after that TERRIBLE CALL that put Cincy back in the red zone! Roxy was basically the reason for Cincy’s second half dominance!
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: I think you mean the entire team, but regardless. Cincy was able to put the game away on the strength of another touchdown run from Salvatore-Spencer, and just like that Cincy finally is able to overcome the critics and win it all! And by critics, I mean YOU!
Venus Flytrap: ME? All I did was speak the truth! When I saw problems and shitty gameplay, I called it out! Honestly, I didn’t see Cincy winning it all with Angie at the helm, but I am man enough to say I was wrong.
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: Finally! Some praise for our QB!
Venus Flytrap: Hang on! Don’t get crazy, she was just at the helm, we all know that Roxy was the reason for the team to win it all!
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: Here we go again! Cotton had an okay game, but she wasn’t the reason that Cincy finally won the championship!
Venus Flytrap: That’s true! It was all on the Player of the Game, Maria!
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: Hey, Salvatore-Spencer had a breakout game and no one can take that away from her, but it was truly a team effort. You can’t pin what was done all season on a single player!
Venus Flytrap: Of course not, that would be completely ridiculous! Obviously, Roxy distracting the Does as the big play threat opened the running game! If we are all being perfectly honest with one another, Roxy is probably at the very least, CO-MVP!
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: Your obsession is truly terrifying. ANYWAY! It was quite the celebration out there…
Venus Flytrap: Except for…the incident.
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: OH…yeah…that. Things got a little heated between Salvatore-Spencer and Anderson as the Cup was presented. To be fair, Spencer was hogging the attention and Anderson tried to set her straight.
Venus Flytrap: NO! Katie got heated when the shine was taken off her and put on someone else! Don’t get me wrong, I loved watching Katie putting bitches to sleep all season long like the ASPCA!
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: That is not what the ASPCA does and you know it!
Venus Flytrap: Regardless, I can admit that Anderson was a defensive beast and that made Cincy feared, but in the end, Maria carried the team across the finish line…under the tutelage of Roxy!
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: I don’t know how you even sleep at night. Anyway, congratulations Cincy on having one heck of a season!
Venus Flytrap: Thank you for finally getting good!
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: That will do it for us, we will see you next season. This has been SHOTS FIRED!
