Post by Publicist on Jan 22, 2023 8:34:19 GMT -5
JANUARY 22, 2023
LFL Week 3
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: OW! Babies, close your eyes and open your ears, it’s week 3 of the LFL and that can only mean one thing, it’s time for episode 3 of SHOTS FIRED! You can open your eyes and wake from that nap, cuz here’s my main man, VENUS FLYTRAP!
Venus Flytrap: The Fly Guy is here to lay down truth, live and direct from my WKRP radio booth!
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: There are a flurry of rematches around LFL this week, but the one we are looking forward to is when our Cincy Hit Girls go to NYC to take on The Pride! Their first meeting ended up in a one score loss for our girls, but even in defeat, there’s a lot to be fired up about. Especially the offense finally getting in the endzone!
Venus Flytrap: Damn right, and it all got started with the BEST damn receiver in the LFL, ROXY COTTON!
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: Fly…you do realize that Ryleigh Dixon actually scored the first touchdown of the season, right?
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: Let’s agree to disagree on that, shall we? Anyway, I want to talk some more about the offense and how they have responded…as a TEAM! Dixon was able to open the floodgates, but she didn’t do it alone. Cartier was catching balls left and right, and actually leads the team in receptions!
Venus Flytrap: You know Doc, I heard that about Cartier! She loves catching balls…
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: Venus, be very careful about what you say next.
Venus Flytrap: …fine. But she been fired up and that's bad news for the opposition!
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: Cartier has been stepping things up out there, but Coach said it before the season got started, and it has been true; Coda is the Hit Girl’s secret weapon out there! We after week she has been down in the trenches, making the toughest catches, picking up yards, making critical plays when they are needed most on both sides of the ball.
Venus Flytrap: And she has been doing all of that while dealing with an eating disorder! It’s incredible!
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: Eating disorder? What are you talking about?!
Venus Flytrap: Hey, I aint trying to get cancelled, but she said it herself…Coda is getting FAT! Every week she gains 3 more pounds!
Venus Flytrap: Hey, Daddy! You know me, I love me some thicc girls, so it aint a diss, Doc! Big girls do it better anyway! Just look at Katie Anderson and Trixie! They are both thicc like syrup in the wintertime, but they have been dropping chicks and looking fine!
Venus Flytrap: The thiccness?
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: Will you cut it out? Today’s rematch with The Pride is going to be won on the back of that resurgent Offense that has to continue to produce. With Honey Sunshine kicking the lights out as our top scoring Hit Girl, with Maria Salvatore-Spencer continuing to improve on the ground, and with our Quarterback, Angie Vaughn leading the charge!
Venus Flytrap: Without a doubt! Angie needs to make sure she’s getting the ball to Roxy, because that-
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: Enough with that! Angie needs to keep spreading out the Defense and finding the open receivers! The line needs to keep her upright so that she can protect the ball and manage the game! Check this out Fly, Angie hasn’t turned the ball over a single time and that will be one of the keys to a Hit Girl’s win today!
Venus Flytrap: Doc, I couldn’t agree more! Angie has watched over that ball like a Mother Hen on Offense! And on Defense, she has but the field on lockdown like an outbreak of COVID! She’s got a pick and more passes defended than I can count! Her play has been impressive, but you know where I’m at…the Defensive Team Captain, AMC needs to keep that Defense in shut down mode, and the Offense needs to be centered around Roxy Cotton!
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: Well, agree to disagree there Trap. Regardless, the time for talk is up and the Hit Girls are in The Big Apple for this week 3 game, I’m your Cincy Town Doctor, and you can tell them your name!
Venus Flytrap: I’m Venus Flytrap, and I put $3,000 down on Cincy getting the win; and that’s not a prediction, that’s a spoiler, my friend!
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: If you win, you owe Paul a cut of that money Fly. That will do it for this episode of Shots Fired! We will see you all after the game!
