Post by Publicist on Jan 15, 2023 8:17:37 GMT -5
JANUARY 15, 2023
WEEK 2
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: OW! Babies, the Doctor is back to make a house call, it’s week 2 of LFL football! It’s time for episode two of SHOTS FIRED! With me, as always, is my main man VENUS FLYTRAP!
Venus Flytrap: I’m ready for week two of this new LFL season, Doc, but I have concerns my man…BIG CONCERNS!
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: Well, that is why we are all here, V. Last week, The Hit Girls were in a low scoring dogfight with the Rampage at home and managed to hold on to a 9 to 3 victory. The good news, the Defense played lights out and allowed no touchdowns. The bad news, the Offense couldn’t score a touchdown.
Venus Flytrap: Plain and to the point Doc! I have nothing but praise for the Defense, but that Offense is suspect, at best, but I know the reason why that is. It starts and stops with Roxy Cotton!
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: So, you’re blaming Roxy for not getting to the endzone?
Venus Flytrap: HELL NAH! I’m blaming Angie Vaughn for not finding her there! Roxy is not only the finest receiver in the LFL, she is also the BEST receiver in the LFL! I can’t believe I am going to say this, but at least Kenzi knew to throw the ball to her! What is Angie’s problem?! Why is she throwing the ball to all these rookies?! Don’t spread the ball around, get it in the hands of your playmaker!
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: Hang on, Fly! You are seriously saying that Angie should only target Roxy? I mean, if you are going to open up the field, you can’t just focus on one player and ignore the rest! Ryleigh caught as many passes as Roxy did, the ‘so called’ best in the LFL!
Venus Flytrap: Look at what Roxy did AFTER the catch, Doc. 74 yards, and she could have WAY more if Angie wasn’t being so selfish!
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: Venus, I don’t know if Roxy is paying you or if you’re just that into blonde bimbos!
Venus Flytrap: Well, Roxy aint paying a brotha, but I’m certain into her…or, you know, I’m trying!
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: Well, the offense will have to do much better today when The Hit Girls host the New York Pride. The Pride put up 34 points last week. Do you think Cincy’s Defense will be up to the challenge of stopping that high powered attack?
Venus Flytrap: AMC is gonna have her hands full with NYC today, but if she can get the Hit Girls to rally to the ball and make this a slugfest, Cincy might have a chance at another ugly win. Katie Anderson was hitting everything that moved and she was swatting down balls like Kareem! Offense wins games, but Defense wins championships, Doc.
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: If you lose too many games, you won’t win any championships, Venus.
Venus Flytrap: Yeah? Well…you aint no real Doctor, what do you know?
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: Let’s get to the fun stuff; Cincy team leaders after week 1!
TEAM LEADERS
Roxy Cotton leads all receivers with 4 receptions and 74 yards. Ryleigh Dixon and Coda are right on her heels. Dixon has 4 receptions for 34 yards and Coda has 3 receptions for 63 yards, including the snagging the longest ball, a 45-yard strike from Vaughn.
Maria Salvatore-Spencer failed to hit the century mark, racking up 68 yards on 20 carries, plus a 9 yard reception. This gives her 77 yards, which technically makes her the team leader in total offense.
Honey Sunshine not only snagged Player of the Game honors for her 3 field goals, but she proved to be deadly accurate, as she pinned the opposition inside the 20-yard line, to lead the entire LFL.
Katie Anderson made a good accounting of her talents in her very first LFL game on defense as she led the team in tackles, with 6.
Coda performed well on both sides of the ball in her first game, but put her stamp on things with a critical sack, a stat point for which she leads the team.
Angela Vaughn was very protective of the ball on offense and even more so on Defense. She leads the team in passes defended, with 3 and 1 interception.
Trixie led the team in offensive blocking, de-cleating 7 players at the point of attack. Unfortunately, she also leads in penalties, with 1 for 5 yards.
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: That’s going to do it for today Cincy Nation! Be sure to tune in to see The Hit Girls host The Pride at 1pm! The Hit Girls come into this match up as the underdog as voted on by the fans.
Venus Flytrap: The votes were not on our side, so now the Hit Girls find themselves being disrespected by the opposition, specifically, our BEST player, Roxy Cotton!
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: Well, Osira and The Pride may not respect the play of Cincy after last week’s performance, but both teams head into week two with identical records and something to prove. I for one, can’t wait to see how they respond today! That’s gonna do it for Shots Fired! As always, I’m The Doctor…
Venus Flytrap: …and I’m your main man, Venus!
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: We will see you after the game, right here on WKRP, in Cincinnati!
