Post by Publicist on Jul 6, 2019 16:15:03 GMT -5
Vinegar: Hello everyone, and welcome to yet another special event for our festival goers! For the first time, we are going to have ourselves a Mixed Martial Arts exhibition fight, sponsored by Union Grand Prix! Two highly skilled fighters, surrounded by a cage and ready to fight until only one is left standing!
Lieberjosch: So, a cage match.
Vinegar: NO! It’s MMA! It’s legit fighting man!
Lieberjosch: What in the hell is that supposed to mean? Wrestling isn’t real?
Vinegar: THAT’S NOT WHAT I SAID!
Covert Jay: But, it sounds like that is what you said.
Vinegar: It’s just…just…DIFFERENT!
Covert Jay: Well, the interesting thing about tonight’s matchup is that one of the competitors, Jordan Parker-Kane is a decorated fighter, a former UGP Light Heavyweight Champion and a wrestler, the current Southside Wrestling BLAST Champion. On the other side, there is Cal McCluskey, a certifiable asshole who has been running down the sport of wrestling for weeks, calling it fake and those who compete in it ‘midjit pusys.’
Lieberjosch: Not going to lie, I’m a big fan of this guy’s antics. Did you see what he did to that midget’s merchandise stand? HA! That’s was classic! If you ask me, this guy is gold! I can’t wait to see the crowd cry after he destroys JPK in that cage!
Vinegar: Easier said than done. JPK has an incredible record in MMA and McCluskey has yet to even win a single fight.
Lieberjosch: None? JESUS!!! Are you sure about that?!
Vinegar: Yeah, he’s never won a single MMA fight in his career.
Lieberjosch: OH MY GOD!!
Lieberjosch frantically digs out his phone and starts punching in numbers as he gets up from the table.
Lieberjosch: I PUT FIVE GRAND ON THAT ASSHOLE!!
Lieberjosch desperately tries to reach his bookie as Vinegar and Covert Jay give the ‘Tale of the Tape’ between these two fighters.
Covert Jay: On paper, this is a serious mismatch and there is a high probability that if Lieb changes his bet, he may regret it!
Vinegar: McCluskey has an 8 inch height advantage, almost 70 pounds on him, and he’s mean as hell!
Covert Jay: All true, but the what JPK has in his favor is the fact that he is 8-6-1, with 2 “Fight of the Night” awards and a championship reign. McCluskey is 0-4-0 in his entire career.
Vinegar: Well, tonight the weight classes are out the door and it will be mano a mano, and just like during last night’s LFL game, the winner will be awarded this UGWC WrestleStock 19 Championship Title!
Covert Jay: So, bragging rights and a super sick title belt to go with it? I can hardly wait!
Vinegar: Well, the wait is over! LET’S GET TO THE CAGE!
The cage was set up in the middle of the outdoor arena, surrounded by bright lights and a sea of screaming fans, many holding signs in support of their favorite in this match. The wrestling fans far outnumbered the MMA faithful, but the supporters of McCluskey were far from overshadowed! Several confrontations between fans had to be broken up hours prior, but now that the moment was upon us, all of the attention was on the forbidding steel structure on the 50-yard line of the LFL stadium.
As “One for the Money” by Escape the Fate plays throughout the arena, Jordan Parker-Kane slowly makes his way out while bouncing to keep warm in his blue and silver walkout fight kit. Just behind him, security guards and his corner crew follow him towards the octagon. JPK doesn’t show much emotion as he makes it to cage-side, but even he cannot deny the explosive outpouring of affection and good-will from the partisan crowd. Men reach out to him to give him the highest of fives and a few of the female devotees actually lift their tops to show painted images of JPK over their exposed breasts.
Fortunately, CTN is on delay, so these offensive images are blurred out for the television viewing audience, but the festival crowd goes wild.
JPK seems slightly embarrassed, but he maintains his calm as he makes his way over and gets checked by the bout official. Once cleared, he marches up the steps and heads straight to his corner, bobbing and weaving along the way. The crowd response is deafening.
Covert Jay: I cannot remember the last time I heard anything like this! You’d think that Muhammed Ali was out here! They LOVE this guy!
Vinegar: Yeah…or they just REALLY hate this guy…
"I Drink Alone" by George Thorogood plays as Cal McCluskey walks out followed by his father, trainer, and cornerman Jim McCluskey.
Vinegar: GOOD LORD! DO YOU HEAR THAT?!
The booing of the fans is so loud that it actually drowns out the music. Many of the more avid fans even start to hurl trash and other debris at the most hated man at WrestleStock. Cal and his father dodge the incoming missiles as he remains defiant on the long walk to the cage.
Lieberjosch shakes his head as he watches the scene with a look of utter dejection on his face. It’s apparent that he was unable to rescind his bet for this upcoming match.
Lieberjosch: Is that the sound of my imminent bankruptcy?
Covert Jay: Never say never…the record might not be in Cal’s favor but this is one of the most lopsided size differences he has had. JPK may not even be able to hurt him.
Vinegar: We are about to find out.
Cal makes it through the gauntlet, still remaining defiant as he shouts back at some fans and is about to jump at them until Jim holds him back and pushes him toward the cage. Cal sticks his middle finger back at those fans as the official checks him over, then allows him entry into the cage.
Cal pauses as he notices Reventón in the front row surrounded by Lucha fans. Cal heads over to him and starts to climb the barricade before Security can stop him and the mass of fans that charge at him. Cal seems legitimately unnerved as seemingly dozens and dozens of fans have to be physically restrained. He rushes into the cage and actually slams the door shut himself, cursing loudly as water bottles and other unspeakables are hurled into the side of the cage.
Veteran UGP announcer Mike Dempsey takes the center of the cage to announce the fighters…
Mike Dempsey: Ladies and gentlemen, the following UGP Exhibition Bout is scheduled for three rounds. Introducing first, FIGHTING out of the red corner, a Muay Thai Kickboxer disciplined in BBJ with a record of 8 wins, 6 losses, and 1 draw. He stands 5’7” and weighed in at 155 pounds. From Houston, Texas, fighting out of SLAUGHTERHOUSE HOUSTON, he is “SPIDEY” JORDAN PARKER-KANE!
JPK steps out from his corner and raises both arms in the air as the crowd explodes. For his part, Cal shakes his head as he flips off his opponent.
Mike Dempsey: And his opponent, FIGHTING out of the blue corner, a Wrestler disciplined in Boxing and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu with a record of 0 wins, 4 losses, and no draws. He stands 6’3” and weighed in at 225 pounds. From WARREN, MICHIGAN, he is CAL MCCLUSKEY!
McCluskey steps out from his corner with a shit-eating grin across his face. He raises a fist in the air, then slowly turns his hand and throws the fans the finger and even inside the relative safety of the cage, he flinches from the negative response and the shower of debris. The reaction is so visceral that the show is stopped and an announcement is made that if anyone else is caught hurling projectiles, they will be ejected from the arena and subject to immediate arrest.
The cage is cleaned out and made ready for the fighters, though Cal McCluskey still looks a bit uneasy.
Covert Jay: Hopefully Cal can recover from that.
Vinegar: Alright ladies and gentlemen, the referee for this fight is Herschel Warden. He checks off with each man one last time then calls for the bell! And this fight is…ON!
=========================================
Round 1
=========================================
The fight gets underway and Cal McCluskey rushes in on the much smaller fighter, looking to intimidate him and get him out early. Cal launches a looping body shot, but JPK dodges and catches him with a hard cross that immediately stuns the bigger man. The fans explode as McCluskey's Left cheek is already beginning to swell and blood trickles from a small laceration there.
Covert Jay: MY GOD, WHAT A COUNTER! JPK IS QUICKER THAN A HICCUP!
Vinegar: He’s not wasting any time getting inside!
The fans are on their feet chanting as JPK jumps over his opponent and tries to grapple with the larger man. Jordan Parker-Kane pushes Cal against the fence in a plum position. McCluskey seems dazed for a moment, but he gathers himself quickly and doesn't want to clinch as he ducks under Jordan Parker-Kane embrace and tries to move away. Jordan Parker-Kane is relentless as he pushes McCluskey forward and doesn't allow him to break the clinch.
Vinegar: Mighty quiet over there.
Lieberjosch gives Vinegar the finger, then goes back to biting his nails.
Both fighters are tied in a clinch, fighting for any edge. JPK tries a flying knee towards Cal McCluskey's chest and the impact sends McCluskey to the fence. The crowd roars as the bigger man is further rocked. Chants fill the arena as the two men continue to struggle with one another. Cal hazards a glance at the time; [0:45 in the 1 round] then goes back to trying to fend off the quicker fighter.
Covert Jay: That’s not a good sign this early in the fight. That first strike really has McCluskey on his heels!
JPK presses his advantage and tries to clinch. Once he has it, he grabs one of Cal McCluskey's arms and tries a Hip Throw and the crowd roars in appreciation as Cal is flipped to the mat like a ragdoll.
Vinegar: WHAT A THROW! DID YOU SEE THAT LIEB?
The dejected man lets out a sign of frustration as he watches McCluskey on his back as the man he probably should have bet on stands over him. JPK launches a kick to McCluskey's thigh and the report is loud and satisfying to the crowd. He fires off a second shot and the sound of flesh on flesh is even louder. He moves around and Cal tries to ward him off, but all he gets for his trouble is one more hard thigh kick. Cal glances at the time again; [1:25 in the 1 round].
JPK take quick note of the distraction and decides to go after his opponent and jumps inside McCluskey's guard. McCluskey did not see that coming! Jordan Parker-Kane is in open guard over McCluskey now.
Covert Jay: JPK is working to get through, but Cal just closed guard on him. There is still fight in him!
The reprive is short as JPK makes a slick transition to side mount over Cal McCluskey showing superior skill in positioning. Jordan Parker-Kane looks to further improve his position as he slides his knee across and achieves the mount position!
Covert Jay: OH MAN! This looks bad for Cal!
His nail-biting co-announcer groans as he covers his face, thoughts of his $5,000 investment slipping away.
Jordan Parker-Kane sits high on Cal McCluskey's chest and pulls his leg underneath McCluskey's head.
Covert Jay: THAT’S A TRIANGLE! IF HE LOCKS THAT IN, THIS IS OVER!
Lieberjosch: GODDAMNIT CAL, DON’T TAP OUT!!!
Cal McCluskey tries to roll out, but Jordan Parker-Kane is way ahead of him and already has the triangle locked in. It's tight and the larger man fights for all his is worth…the fans stand and hold their breath, and in the end, the hated Cal McCluskey has no choice but to tap out!
Lieberjosch gets to his feet and tosses down his headset in frustration as he storms away from the broadcast position to scream and curse nonsensically at a nearby equipment box. The whole arena trembles with the roar of the crowd, drowning out most of what he says.
Mike Dempsey: Here is your winner, at 1 minute and 55 seconds of the very first round…by Triangle…”SPIDEY” JORDAN PARKER-KANE!!!
The referee tries to check on Cal McCluskey, but he shoves the man away as he gets to his feet, holding his wounded arm along with his pride. Across the cage, JPK is awarded the WrestleStock 19 Championship Title belt as the fans cheer. In the front row, a tiny man in a bull costume is seen body surfing around the cage side area.
Covert Jay: Tough night for Cal, but maybe a tougher night for our broadcast partner!
Vinegar: You got that right! Thank you to Dante Reed and the rest to the crew of UGP for this special exhibition bout! In spite of the quick outcome, the crowd seems to have had a great time! We will be right back with more action!
The fight statistics are displayed as the fans continue to cheer and the arena is prepared for the next event…
Lieberjosch: So, a cage match.
Vinegar: NO! It’s MMA! It’s legit fighting man!
Lieberjosch: What in the hell is that supposed to mean? Wrestling isn’t real?
Vinegar: THAT’S NOT WHAT I SAID!
Covert Jay: But, it sounds like that is what you said.
Vinegar: It’s just…just…DIFFERENT!
Covert Jay: Well, the interesting thing about tonight’s matchup is that one of the competitors, Jordan Parker-Kane is a decorated fighter, a former UGP Light Heavyweight Champion and a wrestler, the current Southside Wrestling BLAST Champion. On the other side, there is Cal McCluskey, a certifiable asshole who has been running down the sport of wrestling for weeks, calling it fake and those who compete in it ‘midjit pusys.’
Lieberjosch: Not going to lie, I’m a big fan of this guy’s antics. Did you see what he did to that midget’s merchandise stand? HA! That’s was classic! If you ask me, this guy is gold! I can’t wait to see the crowd cry after he destroys JPK in that cage!
Vinegar: Easier said than done. JPK has an incredible record in MMA and McCluskey has yet to even win a single fight.
Lieberjosch: None? JESUS!!! Are you sure about that?!
Vinegar: Yeah, he’s never won a single MMA fight in his career.
Lieberjosch: OH MY GOD!!
Lieberjosch frantically digs out his phone and starts punching in numbers as he gets up from the table.
Lieberjosch: I PUT FIVE GRAND ON THAT ASSHOLE!!
Lieberjosch desperately tries to reach his bookie as Vinegar and Covert Jay give the ‘Tale of the Tape’ between these two fighters.
Covert Jay: On paper, this is a serious mismatch and there is a high probability that if Lieb changes his bet, he may regret it!
Vinegar: McCluskey has an 8 inch height advantage, almost 70 pounds on him, and he’s mean as hell!
Covert Jay: All true, but the what JPK has in his favor is the fact that he is 8-6-1, with 2 “Fight of the Night” awards and a championship reign. McCluskey is 0-4-0 in his entire career.
Vinegar: Well, tonight the weight classes are out the door and it will be mano a mano, and just like during last night’s LFL game, the winner will be awarded this UGWC WrestleStock 19 Championship Title!
Covert Jay: So, bragging rights and a super sick title belt to go with it? I can hardly wait!
Vinegar: Well, the wait is over! LET’S GET TO THE CAGE!
The cage was set up in the middle of the outdoor arena, surrounded by bright lights and a sea of screaming fans, many holding signs in support of their favorite in this match. The wrestling fans far outnumbered the MMA faithful, but the supporters of McCluskey were far from overshadowed! Several confrontations between fans had to be broken up hours prior, but now that the moment was upon us, all of the attention was on the forbidding steel structure on the 50-yard line of the LFL stadium.
♫
ARE YOU READY
ARE YOU READY
ARE YOU READY
ARE YOU READY
LET’S GO!
♫
ARE YOU READY
ARE YOU READY
ARE YOU READY
ARE YOU READY
LET’S GO!
♫
As “One for the Money” by Escape the Fate plays throughout the arena, Jordan Parker-Kane slowly makes his way out while bouncing to keep warm in his blue and silver walkout fight kit. Just behind him, security guards and his corner crew follow him towards the octagon. JPK doesn’t show much emotion as he makes it to cage-side, but even he cannot deny the explosive outpouring of affection and good-will from the partisan crowd. Men reach out to him to give him the highest of fives and a few of the female devotees actually lift their tops to show painted images of JPK over their exposed breasts.
Fortunately, CTN is on delay, so these offensive images are blurred out for the television viewing audience, but the festival crowd goes wild.
JPK seems slightly embarrassed, but he maintains his calm as he makes his way over and gets checked by the bout official. Once cleared, he marches up the steps and heads straight to his corner, bobbing and weaving along the way. The crowd response is deafening.
Covert Jay: I cannot remember the last time I heard anything like this! You’d think that Muhammed Ali was out here! They LOVE this guy!
Vinegar: Yeah…or they just REALLY hate this guy…
♫
I DRINK ALONE, YEAH WITH NOBODY ELSE
I DRINK ALONE, YEAH WITH NOBODY ELSE
YEAH YOU KNOW WHEN I DRINK ALONE,
I PREFER TO BE BY MYSELF
♫
I DRINK ALONE, YEAH WITH NOBODY ELSE
I DRINK ALONE, YEAH WITH NOBODY ELSE
YEAH YOU KNOW WHEN I DRINK ALONE,
I PREFER TO BE BY MYSELF
♫
"I Drink Alone" by George Thorogood plays as Cal McCluskey walks out followed by his father, trainer, and cornerman Jim McCluskey.
Vinegar: GOOD LORD! DO YOU HEAR THAT?!
The booing of the fans is so loud that it actually drowns out the music. Many of the more avid fans even start to hurl trash and other debris at the most hated man at WrestleStock. Cal and his father dodge the incoming missiles as he remains defiant on the long walk to the cage.
Lieberjosch shakes his head as he watches the scene with a look of utter dejection on his face. It’s apparent that he was unable to rescind his bet for this upcoming match.
Lieberjosch: Is that the sound of my imminent bankruptcy?
Covert Jay: Never say never…the record might not be in Cal’s favor but this is one of the most lopsided size differences he has had. JPK may not even be able to hurt him.
Vinegar: We are about to find out.
Cal makes it through the gauntlet, still remaining defiant as he shouts back at some fans and is about to jump at them until Jim holds him back and pushes him toward the cage. Cal sticks his middle finger back at those fans as the official checks him over, then allows him entry into the cage.
Cal pauses as he notices Reventón in the front row surrounded by Lucha fans. Cal heads over to him and starts to climb the barricade before Security can stop him and the mass of fans that charge at him. Cal seems legitimately unnerved as seemingly dozens and dozens of fans have to be physically restrained. He rushes into the cage and actually slams the door shut himself, cursing loudly as water bottles and other unspeakables are hurled into the side of the cage.
Veteran UGP announcer Mike Dempsey takes the center of the cage to announce the fighters…
Mike Dempsey: Ladies and gentlemen, the following UGP Exhibition Bout is scheduled for three rounds. Introducing first, FIGHTING out of the red corner, a Muay Thai Kickboxer disciplined in BBJ with a record of 8 wins, 6 losses, and 1 draw. He stands 5’7” and weighed in at 155 pounds. From Houston, Texas, fighting out of SLAUGHTERHOUSE HOUSTON, he is “SPIDEY” JORDAN PARKER-KANE!
JPK steps out from his corner and raises both arms in the air as the crowd explodes. For his part, Cal shakes his head as he flips off his opponent.
Mike Dempsey: And his opponent, FIGHTING out of the blue corner, a Wrestler disciplined in Boxing and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu with a record of 0 wins, 4 losses, and no draws. He stands 6’3” and weighed in at 225 pounds. From WARREN, MICHIGAN, he is CAL MCCLUSKEY!
McCluskey steps out from his corner with a shit-eating grin across his face. He raises a fist in the air, then slowly turns his hand and throws the fans the finger and even inside the relative safety of the cage, he flinches from the negative response and the shower of debris. The reaction is so visceral that the show is stopped and an announcement is made that if anyone else is caught hurling projectiles, they will be ejected from the arena and subject to immediate arrest.
The cage is cleaned out and made ready for the fighters, though Cal McCluskey still looks a bit uneasy.
Covert Jay: Hopefully Cal can recover from that.
Vinegar: Alright ladies and gentlemen, the referee for this fight is Herschel Warden. He checks off with each man one last time then calls for the bell! And this fight is…ON!
=========================================
Round 1
=========================================
The fight gets underway and Cal McCluskey rushes in on the much smaller fighter, looking to intimidate him and get him out early. Cal launches a looping body shot, but JPK dodges and catches him with a hard cross that immediately stuns the bigger man. The fans explode as McCluskey's Left cheek is already beginning to swell and blood trickles from a small laceration there.
Covert Jay: MY GOD, WHAT A COUNTER! JPK IS QUICKER THAN A HICCUP!
Vinegar: He’s not wasting any time getting inside!
The fans are on their feet chanting as JPK jumps over his opponent and tries to grapple with the larger man. Jordan Parker-Kane pushes Cal against the fence in a plum position. McCluskey seems dazed for a moment, but he gathers himself quickly and doesn't want to clinch as he ducks under Jordan Parker-Kane embrace and tries to move away. Jordan Parker-Kane is relentless as he pushes McCluskey forward and doesn't allow him to break the clinch.
Vinegar: Mighty quiet over there.
Lieberjosch gives Vinegar the finger, then goes back to biting his nails.
Both fighters are tied in a clinch, fighting for any edge. JPK tries a flying knee towards Cal McCluskey's chest and the impact sends McCluskey to the fence. The crowd roars as the bigger man is further rocked. Chants fill the arena as the two men continue to struggle with one another. Cal hazards a glance at the time; [0:45 in the 1 round] then goes back to trying to fend off the quicker fighter.
Covert Jay: That’s not a good sign this early in the fight. That first strike really has McCluskey on his heels!
JPK presses his advantage and tries to clinch. Once he has it, he grabs one of Cal McCluskey's arms and tries a Hip Throw and the crowd roars in appreciation as Cal is flipped to the mat like a ragdoll.
Vinegar: WHAT A THROW! DID YOU SEE THAT LIEB?
The dejected man lets out a sign of frustration as he watches McCluskey on his back as the man he probably should have bet on stands over him. JPK launches a kick to McCluskey's thigh and the report is loud and satisfying to the crowd. He fires off a second shot and the sound of flesh on flesh is even louder. He moves around and Cal tries to ward him off, but all he gets for his trouble is one more hard thigh kick. Cal glances at the time again; [1:25 in the 1 round].
JPK take quick note of the distraction and decides to go after his opponent and jumps inside McCluskey's guard. McCluskey did not see that coming! Jordan Parker-Kane is in open guard over McCluskey now.
Covert Jay: JPK is working to get through, but Cal just closed guard on him. There is still fight in him!
The reprive is short as JPK makes a slick transition to side mount over Cal McCluskey showing superior skill in positioning. Jordan Parker-Kane looks to further improve his position as he slides his knee across and achieves the mount position!
Covert Jay: OH MAN! This looks bad for Cal!
His nail-biting co-announcer groans as he covers his face, thoughts of his $5,000 investment slipping away.
Jordan Parker-Kane sits high on Cal McCluskey's chest and pulls his leg underneath McCluskey's head.
Covert Jay: THAT’S A TRIANGLE! IF HE LOCKS THAT IN, THIS IS OVER!
Lieberjosch: GODDAMNIT CAL, DON’T TAP OUT!!!
Cal McCluskey tries to roll out, but Jordan Parker-Kane is way ahead of him and already has the triangle locked in. It's tight and the larger man fights for all his is worth…the fans stand and hold their breath, and in the end, the hated Cal McCluskey has no choice but to tap out!
Lieberjosch gets to his feet and tosses down his headset in frustration as he storms away from the broadcast position to scream and curse nonsensically at a nearby equipment box. The whole arena trembles with the roar of the crowd, drowning out most of what he says.
Mike Dempsey: Here is your winner, at 1 minute and 55 seconds of the very first round…by Triangle…”SPIDEY” JORDAN PARKER-KANE!!!
The referee tries to check on Cal McCluskey, but he shoves the man away as he gets to his feet, holding his wounded arm along with his pride. Across the cage, JPK is awarded the WrestleStock 19 Championship Title belt as the fans cheer. In the front row, a tiny man in a bull costume is seen body surfing around the cage side area.
Covert Jay: Tough night for Cal, but maybe a tougher night for our broadcast partner!
Vinegar: You got that right! Thank you to Dante Reed and the rest to the crew of UGP for this special exhibition bout! In spite of the quick outcome, the crowd seems to have had a great time! We will be right back with more action!
The fight statistics are displayed as the fans continue to cheer and the arena is prepared for the next event…
_________________________________
STATISTICS: CAL McCLUSKEY
Punches 0/0 (0%)
Kicks 0/0 (0%)
Clinch strikes 0/0 (0%)
Takedowns 0/0 (0%)
GnP strikes 0/0 (0%)
Submissions 0/0 (0%)
Clinch Attempts 0/0 (0%)
Time on the ground 56 s
________________________________
STATISTICS: JORDAN PARKER-KANE
Punches 1/1 (100%)
Kicks 3/3 (100%)
Clinch strikes 1/1 (100%)
Takedowns 1/1 (100%)
GnP strikes 0/0 (0%)
Submissions 1/1 (100%)
Clinch Attempts 1/1 (100%)
Time on the ground 25 s
STATISTICS: CAL McCLUSKEY
Punches 0/0 (0%)
Kicks 0/0 (0%)
Clinch strikes 0/0 (0%)
Takedowns 0/0 (0%)
GnP strikes 0/0 (0%)
Submissions 0/0 (0%)
Clinch Attempts 0/0 (0%)
Time on the ground 56 s
________________________________
STATISTICS: JORDAN PARKER-KANE
Punches 1/1 (100%)
Kicks 3/3 (100%)
Clinch strikes 1/1 (100%)
Takedowns 1/1 (100%)
GnP strikes 0/0 (0%)
Submissions 1/1 (100%)
Clinch Attempts 1/1 (100%)
Time on the ground 25 s
