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Post by Publicist on Apr 27, 2019 18:19:51 GMT -5
 CTN INSIDER MAGAZINE
April 2019
Kenzi Lacklan, challenges for the UGWC World Title at Seven Deadly Sins!
Controversy swirled whirled after THE LORDS OF COOL won the right to challenge for the Unified Global Wrestling Coalition Co-Operative and World Titles. Everyone expected ROXY COTTON to bank her second World Title opportunity, but she 'gifted' it her partner and now KENZI LACKLAN is the number one contender to ANGIE VAUGHN'S crown! After a heated exchange during their official contract signing, the two are set to meet in a No Holds Barred match in the main event on April 29th in Notre Dame, Indiana!
________________________
[FIN]
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Post by Publicist on Apr 27, 2019 19:48:05 GMT -5
UGWC CoolRankings Hello everyone! And welcome to the second edition of the UGWC CoolRankings! This special edition of the CTN Magazine is all about a preview for the EPIC World Title match between #CoolKidSisters Kenzi Grey-Lacklan (my boss!) and Angie “The Boy Hog” Vaughn, so I figured I might as well include EVERY Cool Point gained going into the big match! So, lets see how the Top Ten UGWC Entertainment Professionals rank from the first show of the year all the way to the April 15th edition fo Synergy:
| Ranking | Name | #CoolPoints | | #10 | Phrixus Deimos | 8.05 | | #9 | Holden Orson | 8.67 | | #8 | Wrestle McWrestleface | 10.77 | | #7 | Donovan Hastings | 13.5 | | #6 | Dave Rydell | 15.09 | | #5 | Zane Scott | 15.58 | | #4 | Le Bord de Dieu | 20.23 | | #3 | Angie Vaughn | 21.45 | | #2 | Roxy Cotton | 23.43 | | #1 | Kenzi Lacklan | 26.54 |
-Phrixus Deimos continues to the be the spectre of consistancy, being in 10th place both after Infinity and going into his Chaos Title match against the Queen of Red. As usual, his record of 3-8 isn't exactly going to make someone swoon, but he has done enough to stay on the board while others have either fallen off or aren't accomplished enough yet to be there, such as the THING Yamazaki.
-Holden Orson has been unable to gain much in the way of traction since returning to the UGWC, having only been able to secure two more wins since Infinity. But his pairing with the Phucking Freak has allowed him some more time in the spotlight, and while the two previous enemies are an odd juxtaposition, the same can be said of what was a dominate tag team in Team Angell. Perhaps they might find themselves in a similar situation before too long.
-Wrestle McWrestleface has had a turbulent run thus far in the "big leagues" of the UGWC, his experiences in the smaller, independently run promotions not exactly translating well. That being said, he secured a victory over Kenzi Lacklan, albeit by disqualification, a second for him, if you include the final moments of the opening round of the Global Challenge. He has still yet to figure out who or what he is, I wager.
-Seeing Donovan Hastings on this list in any capacity has to be surprising for everyone in the world, but the former Creative Director has attached himself to someone who is an indomitable force, and has been able to ride her wave of success to more accolades. Will it last? Who knows!
-Dave Rydell's time since Infinity has been a mixture of success and defeat. While he was able to secure the UGWC Cross-Hemisphere Championship again, he and Angie Vaughn faltered at the finish line of the Cooperative history they were running toward. He has a couple of wins under his belt over the last couple of weeks, and so has some momentum going into his first attempted defense of his title.
-Zane Scott has had a rough run and there is no getting around that. Still trying to figure out what he wants to BE in 2019 has led to extreme ups and downs: A six match winning streak, which included a PPV victory over Le Bord de Dieu, but then a six match losing streak which also included a title match loss to Le Bord de Dieu. He faces the up-and-coming WmW at the Deadly Sins PPV, and in this hot personal assistant's view, seriously needs to win this thing to get back into the focus of the company before the looming Melee and WrestleStock.
-Speaking of Le Bord de Dieu, the Champion of Chaos begins the wide divide in Cool Points from the Top 4 and the rest of the company. She has broken several records in the Chaos division this year, including the most days total as champion, as well as most successful defenses both in a single reign AND overall, and is heading towards taking the final record available to her, that of the single longest reign, currently held by "The Drunken Buzzsaw" Chaos. A string of wins since the Trios means that she has all the momentum in the world going into her match with Fear.
-A tiny bit over one point ahead is Angie Vaughn, the first of the #AllCoolKidsTop3. The World Champion successfully defended her championship at the Trios, but losing the Cooperative championship has seem to put a small stall into her drive, resulting in her dropping two spots from #1 to #3. But a stellar record of 8-3 and a four-match win streak might well help her into what will be an emotion battle with one of her best friends, Kenzi Lacklan.
-Roxy Cotton has had an amazing run thus far this year. With a record of 10-4, she has won two of the three tournaments this year (Global Challenge AND Lord of Trios), and has been able to parlay her success into skirting rules and turning her championship opportunities into a battle of attrition. While she lost a little steam when getting her six-match winning streak snapped a couple of weeks ago by a lucky shot by that THING Yamazaki, she still has all the confidence in the world going into her Cross-Hemisphere match with Dave Rydell.
-Without question or jest, there is no denying that the true star of UGWC in 2019 has been Kenzi Lacklan. A record of 10-3 gives her the highest win percentage on the roster (not counting people who have only had a handful of matches), with three of those being title matches and FOUR of them being in main events. In fact, she has been in more main events than anyone else on the roster, including the World Champion she faces on Monday, and that experience might well be the edge she needs to get her the first World Championship title reign of her career.
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Post by Publicist on Apr 27, 2019 19:54:35 GMT -5
CINCINNATI HIT GIRLS SEASON 6 PREVIEW Season 6 has brought a new sense of optimism to the Cincinnati Hit Girls organization. After 3 consecutive seasons of missing the playoffs, the team has dedicated itself to reaching the post season. Complicating matters might be the addition of cameras all over the locker room for the CTN docuseries “Hard Knockers.” Every aspect of the team’s innerworkings have been exposed, leaving very little room for privacy and putting all of their struggles on television for the world to see.
Season 5 saw the needle move as the team rode the back of a dynamic rookie, Amira Kassouri, barely missing the playoffs. A berth seemed assured until the young newcomer decided to hold out until the final minutes of free agency ended. Cincy’s scramble to meet her demands saw two causalities on the defense as Maxine Ball and Bobbi London were released to get the team under the salary cap. It remains to be seen whether this friction will have a lasting impact or if Amira’s limited practice time will hinder her performance.
Another huge change was the addition of Johnny Bonecrusher as Head Coach. Despite limited knowledge of the rules, he was installed to captain the team through a series of position changes and a revamped play scheme. Johnny is hoping to bring a more aggressive play style to the team in the hopes that a new culture of winning will result. Along with that, it is rumored that he is also attempting to petition the league to institute a more modest uniform policy. While players like Coda, Honey, Bordy, and Angie Vaughn are sure to be in favor of this, he may want to plan for resistance from others…if this rumor is to be believed.
One BIG change to the team was the mysterious signing of “The Wall” Victoire Belanger, from Montréal. Many suspect that she was signed, sight unseen, because of the current owner’s affinity for all things even remotely French. Regardless of the reason, she enters the fold as the junior member of the team and that will come with its own fair share of pressure and scrutiny. We will see if “The Wall” can withstand the hits that will surely be coming her way.
Moves weren't only made on the field, but off it as well. As the only LFL with a legitimate cheerleading squad, a new Head Cheerleader was elected, Ashley Allen, also the Cool Tube Source Head Legionette! Ashley is looking to bring a new vigor to the Hit Squad as she takes the reigns. She has come up with a bevy of new cheers, though to date, they are all only about Amira.
The first preseason game was at home and the Hit Girls fell to the Philly Bellas 17 to 13 with a fumble late in the 4th period denying their hopes of a comeback. While the game was a loss, there were bright spots, such as the revamped line keeping quarterback Kenzi Lacklan upright with no sacks, Amira going over 100 yards rushing, huge receiving games for Cartier and Coda, and a monster defensive performance from Trixie. Hopefully the team can parlay this opening performance into something special this season.
Stay tuned to WKRP for all the news and postgame highlights. Also, don’t miss “Hard Knockers: Cincinnati Hit Girls” streaming on CTN.com!
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Post by Publicist on Apr 27, 2019 19:56:00 GMT -5
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Post by Publicist on Apr 27, 2019 19:56:46 GMT -5
CAT-CHAT
Just a couple of cool cats owned by Angie Vaughn, watching television and chatting about the issues from a uniquely feline perspective. If you're a cat lover and you aren't watching Cat Chat with Ser Alex and Ser Bobby, then you aren't a real cat lover!
Ser Bobby: "Yo MC Alex, give us a rap."
Ser Alex: "I poop in a tray. That shit cray. But I keep my chin up cuz Chewie's bae. That's so gay."
Ser Bobby: "Nailed it."
Cat Chat ©
Circle Television Network 2019
All Rights Reserved |
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Post by Publicist on Apr 27, 2019 20:14:02 GMT -5
COOL TWEETS! What could be better than tweeting at your favorite #CoolKid? Getting recognized as having one of the coolest tweets of the month by one! We tasked our Cool Contingent with picking out a few of their favorites and this is what they sent to us...
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Post by Publicist on Apr 28, 2019 12:05:06 GMT -5
 With Seven Deadly Sins right around the corner, our game developers couldn't wait and decided to simulate the UGWC World Title match between Angie Vaughn and Kenzi Lacklan!
Who wins, who loses, see what our simulator says!SIMUATION 1
SIMUATION 2
SIMUATION 3
Circle Arcade Wrestling (CAW) ©
Circle Television Network 2019
All Rights Reserved |
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Post by Publicist on Apr 28, 2019 14:47:47 GMT -5
 Season Two
Part 1 - Meeting Up
  Part 2 - Coffee
  Part 3 - Vexx Live!
  Part 4 - Uber
  Epilogue - Daydreams
    
Keeping Up With The Cool Kids ©
Circle Television Network 2019
All Rights Reserved |
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Post by Publicist on Apr 28, 2019 14:50:07 GMT -5
The woman in the shining armor turns her fierce green gaze over the room, and men of all kinds shy away. The taller woman rolls her eyes and pushes past the warrior, heading into the bar. But she stops as the woman in armor reaches out and clutches her elbow in her mailed fist. She motions towards a corner with her head, and the barbarian gives her a nod. They take a left, heading into the corner, the green eyes of the woman focusing on the aura of darkness that she doesn’t see, but feels, which tells her that evil is nearby. Men move away from them as they walk forward, getting up out of their chairs and scurrying to safety, until the two find themselves at a table where a hooded figure sits. The woman in the armor hands tremble, the fingers clutching for the handle of the warhammer that was not there, as the woman in the cloak turns to face them.
“‘Sup?”
The armored woman groans and the barbarian snickers as the woman throws back her hood to reveal bright white hair, shockingly bright in the darkness, and the beady red eyes of a rat in a severely pointed face, two sharp ears pushing up and out of her hair.
“Nothing, pirate. Our friend is being herself.”
The barbarian’s voice is short and crisp, the words clipped. The woman in the armor scowls at them both before turning away to peer at the crowd once more. The barbarian plops herself down into a chair at the table and snickers again. The woman with the bright hair looks between the two and shrugs her shoulders.
“Any news, bb?”
The barbarian shakes her head.
“No, pirate. No sign of the Bell.”
The pirate pulls down her hood to her shoulders, freeing a long braid of hair, and shakes her head.
“Perhaps my Beloved has had better luck. She knows how to poke and prod in a way that gets men to say things they ordinarily wouldn’t.”
“...salope...”
The two women ignore the soft comment from the armored woman.
"Yes, she is very good at showing off her boyish body."
The half-elf narrows her eyes at the large woman.
"Her curves are AMAZING, thank you very much!"
The barbarian nods.
"I agree, pirate. It amazes me that a woman can challenge the Great Plains of Rydell for one-dimensional flatness!"
She roars in laughter at her joke, and the pirate shakes her head. But then a clatter of a falling tray of mugs catches the attention of the three women and they turn they heads towards the noise. Four men, gruff with matted hair and wearing the dirty overalls of mineworkers, stand in a corner, their eyes on the young woman who had dropped the tray. She was trying to pick up the mugs but each time she bend over, one of the men would reach up and pinch her bottom under her apron, causing her to squeal. The men laughed as they did so, and the face of the woman fills with a mixture of annoyance and fear.
“Infidels…”
The armored woman’s voice is full of righteous malice as she reaches for the hammerhead at her waist, and the pirate’s eyes go wide.
“Mero! Do NOT get us kicked out of a town...AGAIN...just because some jerkoffs are being jerkoffs! We NEED to find the Bell of-”
She throws up her hands in exasperation as the woman ignores her and pushes forward through the crowd and two the men. The pirate looks to the barbarian.
“She’s going to get us kicked out again, bb! She’s-”
The laughter comes to an abrupt end and the two women look into the corner. The armored woman has pushed herself in between the men and now stood before them, several inches shorter than them all, but looking up in a way which makes her seem to loom above them. She jabs a finger at them as she admonishes them.
The pirate and barbarian quickly get to their feet and rush over, afraid of having a repeat of the LAST town they were in while searching for the Bell. And the town before that. AND the town before THAT. As the barbarian pushes her way between two of the men, the miners having to crane their necks slightly to look up at the large tribeswoman, the pirate sneaks over and snags two cups of ale from a table as she passes by-
The action goes unnoticed, even though the patrons were staring straight at them. The pirate follows her barbarian friend and slips in between the men before they come back together in the wake of the large woman. The pirate turns on a booted heel and proffers the mugs of ale at the men while also backing into the armored woman and forcing her to give some ground. She flashes her smile -
“Gentlemen! Hard-working folks! You seem like you could totes use some ale to wet your whistles and bring cheer to what is probs really shitty lives before you go home to your fat wives and children who don’t love you. Why don’t you take THESE mugs and leave this poor girl alone? I bought them with my own coin, obvs, just for you!”
The men look at one another and then laugh. One raises his hands and points past the mugs and to the area directly behind them, that being the barely covered chest of the pirate.
“How ‘bout we ferget th’ ale and go straight fer da mugs?”
He pushes forward, his hands extended, dirty fingers already twitching with the thought of pale half-elf bosom. Suddenly, a rose flies through the air and slams into the man’s hand, making him howl in pain. The three women look to the side, in the direction of the thrown flower, and see a dark woman with bells in her braids with a scowl on her face, and a tall and fair woman, covered in vines and flowers, who had clearly thrown the thorn-laden weapon. The men growl in unison and reach into their belts and pull out dirty and sharp knives.
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Post by CoolTubeSource on Apr 28, 2019 15:55:12 GMT -5
Children are beautiful things, to be sure, but this so-called “science” does not create babies: It creates abominations! God does NOT love these THINGS as if they were the offspring of a wed man and woman laying together, and I would not be shocked at ALL to find out that ANY “child” borne of this TERRIBLE sin led a life of debauchery and chicanery! The disgusting gay couples who bring these Frankenstein monsters into the world deserve the wrath of God they receive.
Thank you for bringing this to my attention! While I am not sure why you saw a sea vessel, I CAN confirm that many people DID see Satan in that smoke. The reason for that, of course, is because of France’s stance on same sex marriage. It has been a VERY long time since I called France home, and it is downright ATROCIOUS that the lawmakers have done something so VILE as to allow same sex marriage to become legal in the entire country. The destruction of so many of their glorious items of history, as well as various attacks in that time, are clear evidence of God’s patient wrath against them.Absolutely.
NOT.
Those thoughts are SIN, child! They infect you! They ruin you! It does NOT matter how “cute” you find another woman. It does NOT matter how beautiful or charming she is! Why, she might well be a extraordinarily talented wrestler, football player, AND singer and dancer, but that does NOT give you license to spit in God’s eye with your HEATHEN desires! Please wash yourself in a vat of chlorine until you think of nothing but laying with men.
I hope that helped!Dear Bordy ©
Circle Television Network 2019
All Rights Reserved
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