Post by CoolTubeSource on Oct 26, 2018 20:08:51 GMT -5
~~Saturday, October 27th~~
Sarah mumbles to herself as she pulls her yoga pants tight. Words like "melodramatic" and "emotatastic" can be heard. She cranes her neck over her shoulder to look at her backside in the mirror.
"I think my glutes and hams are looking better. What do you think? Do you think my rear is filling out again?"
Kenzi grumbles to herself and keeps her arms folded over her chest as she sits on the couch and looks at Sarah. She was still upset over Sarah going behind her back and making this supposed “deal” with Aveline, a deal where, apparently, they were going to be spending holidays at the “Lacklanland” compound.
“Ask Lenore...”
She can’t help but mumble the words with petulance. Along with having to fly here that morning, Sarah made her watch that STUPID FUCKING SHOW VEXX on the flight. She was SO DONE with Sarah’s OBVIOUS crush on the demon witch character who was both ugly AND couldn’t act. In the mirror, Sarah narrows her eyes at her wife.
"I don't give you crap when you fangirl over that Sarha chick in your vampire romance novels."
This was a lie, of course. Sarah gave her TONS of crap about the leading character in those novels. Still, she looks down at her butt again.
"I'm serious!"
She bends over at the waist and shakes her hips.
"Do you think it's filling out, again? Been doing a TON of kicks in the gym over summer."
“Yeah...it is.”
Kenzi stayed petulant, but had to admit that Sarah’s gains were showing. She herself had worked hard to get back her visible ab muscles, a feature she had earned during her time doing the Body by Benton program but lost during her short-lived retirement, and Sarah had done much of the same. They had trained hard over the summer, which attributed to their general exhaustion.
“I think I’m going to hit the gym a bit before we get dressed for the party. Just something mindless, you know?
Sarah looks at Kenzi upside down from between her legs, her pale face turning red from the pressure.
“Oh totes. Angie and I are working on taggie stuff later, too. We need to work out a proper finisher if we are going to win taggie gold in XWA.”
She rights herself, taking a moment to regain her equilibrium, and gives Kenzi a wide smile.
“Dinner, then? During the party? Whatever you like! It’s on me!”
She smirks and gives her a wink.
“Literally, if you’re up for it!”
“Yeah...that’s fine.”
She checked her watch...one of the three insanely expensive Cartier watches that Sarah had bought for them with the prize money from her first MMA fight...the trio which included a Sweet 16 gift for the daughter that never would be...and shook her head. Things were NOT fine. Not really. This thing with her mother-in-law...
“Going to the gym. I’ll see you at the party.”
Kenzi gets up from the couch as Sarah continues to appraise her behind, but then stops at the door.
"Um...babe? I think you have a delivery."
Sarah gives her a raised eyebrow and walks over.
"Huh? I didn't hear anyth-"
She stops dead cold and stares down, her pale face a mask of incredulity.
"NOW WAY!"
Just inside the door to their apartments in the manor was a folded piece of paper being carried by...
You guessed it...
A snail.
"How long has this taken to get to me?!"
Sarah bends down, picks up the paper, and unfolds it to read, in a hand as artistic as hers:
u a bitch
"OMG WHY WOULD MAGGIE DO THIS GOD I HATE HER SO MUCH I CANNOT EVEN SHE IS SUCH A STUPID FUCKING CU-"
Kenzi's laughter fills the room as she runs out the door, unable to contain herself.
* * * * * * * * * *
While most of the people who attended the inaugural (or first annual, for you Plebeians) Grey-Lacklan Halloween Spectacular had been to the Lacklan Manor at some point before, whether it be for the Grey-Lacklan wedding the year before, Outlast training, or that REALLY WEIRD hentai convention Mil threw while Ken and Sar were off actually working, no one was quite prepared for the costumed festivities. The manor already had that “creepy Goth mansion at the top of the hill” vibe as it was, but Sarah’s vision of a truly KICKASS Halloween meant that spiders from the forest had been captured and trained to weave truly magnificent webs, the equestrian team rode around to pantomime the Headless Hunt from the Harry Potter series, and there was so much candy around that, should someone wish to, they could dive in and swim in it like the richest duck in the world.
“Trick or Treat!”
All throughout the party, children were around in costumes and visiting candy stations. The call had gone up from Sarah herself to the children of both the compound and to the large city of Bangor 20 miles away, and they had all come running at the promise of coma-inducing levels of sugary treats. The Blood Princess had even gone so far as to outlaw any “shitty as FUCK!” treats which some of the parents wished to give out, things like apples or toothbrushes or other things which Sarah would have had someone flogged over if she received as a child, and so it was with nothing but rapture that the children found their bags stuffed to the brim.
There was, of course, plenty to do for the adults, as well. Quarantined off from the children, the party Sarah had thrown for her family and friends included every game imaginable, from bobbing for apples (won by Jet, of all people), to Pin the Tail on Captain 80’s (won by Trixie, because Roxy was “busy for the day”), and the Mummy Wrap Race, which was won by the odd pairing of Sherry Somers and Cartier of the Cincy Hitgirls, the later of which spent the whole time complaining about “cracka-ass crackers” and how they put raisins in their potato salad.
The main attraction was, of course, the costume contest. The party was filled with the usual assortment of “sexy” this, and “sassy” that, and a handful of truly offensive costumes you would normally see at a college party, including terrorists, social justice warriors, and a few men wearing nothing but glow-in-the-dark bikini briefs. But who won the contest? Who took home the big prize? Let’s get right to it!
Kem Dynamo and Stacy DeVille - ? ? ? ? ? ?
Percentage of Possible Applause: 0%
Now, it IS possible that the duo of Kem, a high impact UGWC star, and her girlfriend Stacy, the owner of Rose City Wrestling, could well have won the whole thing, but no one ever saw their costumes, as they never showed up. People asked around, knowing that the two RSVP’d DAYS ago, but whenever anyone asked Sarah, she gave them a wide-eyed look of innocence. It was not until the following day that Kem tweeted all day (shocker, I know) about how she and Ms. DeVille somehow got caught up at the gate going into the compound and, for some reason, couldn’t get passed security. They were SURE that Kenzi put their names on the list, but for SOME REASON which CANNOT be explained, the guards just couldn’t seem to find their names. Weird!
Kenzi and Sarah Grey-Lacklan - Lenore the Demon Witch and Sarha the Vampire Queen
Percentage of Possible Applause: 5%
Ya know, you would figure that the hosts of the party, who last year had been such a perfect Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn duo that DC Comics called them to thank them for raising the bar for costumes forevermore, would have done better than this, but that was not the case. Instead of working together, the two had found themselves in a petulant pissing contest and chosen costumes designed in order to trigger the other. Kenzi was “that stupid shitty actress!” from Sarah’s favorite show, Vexx, and Sarah was Sarha, “that dumb whore” from Kenzi’s favorite series of vampire “romance” novels that had FAR more smut than romance. Absolutely NO ONE had ANY IDEA what they were talking about, outside of Angie, who hooted and hollered for Kenzi dressing up as a character from “the tobvs bestest show ever.” Everyone else just figured that the two hadn’t worn costumes at all and came as themselves, much to the confusion of Team Kickass.
Angie Vaughn - Bethlania, the Cat Clan Queen
Percentage of Possible Applause: 10%
Percentage of Possible Applause: 10%
Much like her two best friends, Angie’s choice of the Cat Queen from Vexx found itself falling upon uneducated eyes and ears. Perhaps if Angie had shown some skin and curves, which had been the suggestion from Roxy earlier in the week, “Just go as a sexy cat, baby,” she might have gotten more applause.
Ashley Marie Chase - Sexy French Maid
Percentage of Possible Applause: 15%
At any other time, in any other place, AMC wearing a short-as-FUCK frilly skirt and NOTHING underneath would have garnered the prize, but in a manor house literally FULL of ACTUAL servants and maids, she seemed nothing special.
Captain 80’s - Captain Vampire
Percentage of Possible Applause: 23%
AHOY MATIES THE CAPTAIN MIGHT HAVE GOTTEN A BETTER RECEPTION IF HE HAD NOT WORN SOME CHEAP OUTFIT THAT WAS CLEARLY BOUGHT LAST MINUTE AT WALMART BUT ITS OKAY BECAUSE NOW HE IS GOING TO HAVE HIS CREW OF NAKED HOT CHICKS MAKE OUT FOR NO REASON IN A PROMOTIONAL VIDEO NO ONE UNDERSTANDS BUT ITS OKAY BECAUSE ROXY IS GOING TO SQUIRT OVER IT ANYWAY AND ANOTHER THING ISN’T IT AWESOME HOW
Jet Somers - Winter Soldier
Percentage of Possible Applause: 35%
Nothing wrong with Jet’s Winter Soldier! Not bad at all, actually. UNFORTUNATELY! Sarah paid for Sebastian Stan to actually be there in costume, WITH the legit vibranium arm from the movie, so Jet’s chances were FUUUUUUUUCKED
Shelly Somers - Nebula
Amira Kassouri - Devil
Trixie - Deadshot...with boobs
Percentage of Possible Applause: 75%
The appraisal of hot chicks in costumes got a much larger round of applause than any other across the evening. Shelly’s form-fitting Nebula, Amira’s PLUNGING neckline in her red suit, and Trixie’s ridiculous curves all brought down the house with hoots and hollers coming from men and women alike. Unfortunately for them…
Honey Smith - “Tea with a Spot of Honey”
Percentage of Possible Applause: 94%
Honey KILLED. And Sarah was PISSED. Honey wore a teapot around her body and regularly broke out into performances of “I’m a Little Teapot!” to the delight of the crowd. The mixture of her killer costume, witty AS FLAME name, infectious smile and personality, and the fact that Sarah hated her WITH UNBRIDLED PASSION, Honey walked away with the award of a giant trophy and received a standing ovation. Until…
Aveline Lacklan - Merovingian the Righteous
Percentage of Possible Applause: 100%
Sigh
Hi Bordy
The Queen of Red made a surprise appearance at the end of the night, slowly making her way down the banister leading from her private rooms. The recluse was wearing full plate mail armor, designed and fitted for her particular curves, and carrying her “holy avenger,” a spiked great maul. Now, as you can imagine, regardless of what anyone ACTUALLY thought, the crowd of friends and family of Sarah were drowned out by the cheers of the manor staff, who no doubt where cheering wildly on threat of pain and possible dismemberment. This led to Bordy winning the trophy. A trophy which was gladly handed over by Honey with a smile on her face, because Honey.
Hi Bordy
The Queen of Red made a surprise appearance at the end of the night, slowly making her way down the banister leading from her private rooms. The recluse was wearing full plate mail armor, designed and fitted for her particular curves, and carrying her “holy avenger,” a spiked great maul. Now, as you can imagine, regardless of what anyone ACTUALLY thought, the crowd of friends and family of Sarah were drowned out by the cheers of the manor staff, who no doubt where cheering wildly on threat of pain and possible dismemberment. This led to Bordy winning the trophy. A trophy which was gladly handed over by Honey with a smile on her face, because Honey.