Post by Publicist on Apr 5, 2018 21:23:14 GMT -5
THE HIT LIST!
F. Alexander Quinn Interviews your favorite Hit Girls following the preseason game against the Los Angeles Stars on 30 March 2018!
F. Alexander Quinn Interviews your favorite Hit Girls following the preseason game against the Los Angeles Stars on 30 March 2018!
FAQS: Good afternoon Milisandre! Do you have time to talk to me about the LFL and your role with the Hit Girls this season?
MILISANDRE CROWTHORNE: Uh, sure I guess.
FAQS: First of all, congratulations on being named Offensive Player of the Game yesterday. You put on quite a display of power running out there!
MILISANDRE CROWTHORNE: Thanks. I just, like, did what I always do. Nice to be recognized for it tbh
FAQS: Especially with the controversy in the off season with the team looking to sign a second running back because of concerns with your shoulder injury. How is that injury and how did you feel about Cincy trying to bring in a second back to basically compete for your job?
MILISANDRE CROWTHORNE: The injury has healed and doesn't bother me anymore. Took some time off of my wrestling career to let it heal. I told them that they didn't need anyone else in the backfield with me but they felt otherwise. Just have to, like, show them that they aren't needed
FAQS: Well, they signed a fullback (Madd Maxine) and they also signed Cartier who is a natural running back. In fact, it was her that opened up those holes in the defense for you. Are you concerned that she might have opened eyes about her potential as a power back that could replace you?
MILISANDRE CROWTHORNE: Not really. All anyone has to do is, like, look at my performance last season. I had someone the best games for the team with use of only one arm in my rookie season. Now that, like, I know a bit more and have worked with the team I can only do better.
FAQS: Are you concerned that there is someone in the back office who has it in for you?
MILISANDRE CROWTHORNE: Honestly I wouldn't be surprised. I'm not, like, exactly the best poster person. I have plenty of bad habits and issues with people on the team. But, like, I put in the work and more than counter Kenzi Grey's lousy running ability.
Love you though Kenz, just stop running!
FAQS: SHADE! Controversy creates #BitchCoins
Thank you very much for the time today and good luck this season!
MILISANDRE CROWTHORNE: Yeah sure. And, like, thanks and stuff
FAQS: Hello AMC, do you have a few minutes to talk about the LFL and your end of game heroics yesterday?
ASHLEY MARIE CHASE: Of course sir. Fire away.
FAQS: Yesterday your team named you the Hit Girls defensive player of the game after your interception ended the game. Can you tell us what you were thinking and how it felt to be carried off the field?
ASHLEY MARIE CHASE: It felt great honestly. Last year I missed some practices which hurt but this year we changed some things up and last night was a perfect example. If we can play that defense all the time i expect big things this year for us.
FAQS: The change certainly did seem to be a much better one for you. Does it bother you that people still continue to blame you for all of the sacks that Kenzi Grey takes during games? It seems unfair to me.
ASHLEY MARIE CHASE: Well it does get old especially since Kenzi has a habit of taking off to soon but with the changes this year I expect Kenzi will stay on her feet more this season. Look for her to throw for yards and not end up on her back.
FAQS: I’m going to ask you a question and I need an honest answer from you; do you think you should be Quarterback this season?
ASHLEY MARIE CHASE: Honestly at the end of last season I definitely thought i should be. However I have seen Kenzi strive to improve her game so right now I think we got it right. Just STOP running Kenzi! I also think Kenzi is a smarter QB this year and that will help her development sir.
FAQS: I think you avoided my question, but I’ll give you a pass on that. I understand you’ll be in action in the ring tonight, can you tell the fans what to expect?
ASHLEY MARIE CHASE: Victory. Dont get me wrong both Eavan Maloney and Katie M. are tough but I dont plan on losing my debut and will do what it takes to get my hand raised in victory.
FAQS: Well, I’m sure all of your fans will be behind you tonight! I’m sure you’ll do great! Thank you for taking the time to speak with me!
ASHLEY MARIE CHASE: Happy to oblige!
FAQS: Roxy, do you have a few minutes to talk to me about the LFL and your game yesterday?
ROXY COTTON: If it's about me, I always have time bb
FAQS: Yesterday’s game was looking pretty bleak until you scored the go ahead touchdown in the last three minutes. Can you tell the fans what was going through your mind on that last offensive series?
ROXY COTTON: It was really easy, like, I'm really really good at it. So I run to the end zone and like, just turn to Kenzi and I'm screaming THROW IT TO ME THROW IT TO ME And she did, so we won!
FAQS: That did seem to be how it happened, more or less. You and Kenzi Grey seem to have a pretty good connection out there. You were her favorite target last season, and you were again yesterday. Do you think the coaching change to Generic Heel will be a good one for you?
ROXY COTTON: He seems weird and I think he was trying to peek in the showers after the game but he seems to know what he's doing. Way better than our last coach.
FAQS: Well he certainly seems aggressive with his play calling. Hopefully that will be the key to getting those elusive wins. I noticed you got some help on special teams in the form of Sativa Nevaeh. Last season you did the bulk of returns. Is this a good change from last year?
ROXY COTTON: Well I guess we'll see. Honestly it feels weird having to share a locker room with a lesbian, especially since she's dating one of my arch enemies in LAW, Kate Steele. I did a great job on returns last season, but it might be better to focus my obvious athletic gifts on offense.
FAQS: Errr, aren’t there already lesbians on your team?
ROXY COTTON: NO! No one ever calls Maki or AMC or Kenzi lesbians, only Sativa. So I think she's the only one!
FAQS: Oh! Well, you might have a point there. Before I let you go, I’d heard a rumor that you might have been abducted and probed by aliens. Do you think it’s possible that their experiments may have enhanced your performance?
ROXY COTTON: Hmmmm well, I took like six pregnancy tests this week and everything came back fine. Plus, I'm vegan so PEDs don't work on me anyway. You think they could have? I think I was just as good before the aliens but I do feel a lot stronger... like... down there? Like I got a workout.
FAQS: Entirely possible Ms. Cotton! Before I let you go, where can the fans see you next?
ROXY COTTON: Well, I'm going to be at the UGWC show this weekend to support one of my very bestest friends ever, Angie Vaughn. She has to fight a weird cartoon person and I know what that's like. Plus, I have some business to finish there myself. Then next Friday the season starts!
FAQS: That sounds exciting! Thank you very much for the interview Ms. Cotton and best of luck this season!
ROXY COTTON: Any time you want to talk about me again just let my agent know!
FAQS: Who is your agent?
ROXY COTTON: I'll DM you. Oh, wait, it looks like you already DMed me... OH MY GOD WTF
FAQS: THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT! Unless you liked it.
ROXY COTTON: I did not!
FAQS: Oh, then yes, it was an accident. Have a great night Ms. Cotton!
FAQS: Sir, would you mind answering some questions about your new role as Head Coach of the Hit Girls this season?
GENERIC HEEL: Certainly! It will be your pleasure.
FAQS: First off, congratulations on scoring the position with the team. However, I have to ask, why the Hit Girls? There are certainly much better teams out there in need of a coach.
GENERIC HEEL: Speaking from a purely statistical record, that is true. However, there seem to be a LOT of sluts on the team, which means that I have a greater chance of adding to the list of satisfied riders of Generic Mountain. Q.E.D.
FAQS: Wow! That doesn’t sound too PC in this era of #MeToo! I submit that you selected the Hit Girls because they are the most Heel team in the entire LFL!
GENERIC HEEL: We’re not here to be PC, pal. We’re here to score. See what I did there? Damn, I’m smooth. Anyway, yeah, the girls are pretty heelish. Especially that Angie Vaughn chick. Makes an old villain's eye water, seeing her with that loaded boot all the time.
FAQS: I’m glad you brought her up. I couldn’t help but notice that you took her out of the game in favor of a pair of 2-point conversion attempts. Do you have a personal vendetta against her? You said she brought a tear to your eye, but she was very upset last week.
GENERIC HEEL: That had nothing to do with Angie and everything to do with Kenzi Grey’s negative yardage on the field! That girl can’t scramble for shit! Not sure if she lead in yards LOST last year, but she HAS to be Top 3! I had to get aggressively creative to get points on the board.
FAQS: So you’re looking for aggression from your players this year. Are there any that have managed to impress you, besides Angie?
GENERIC HEEL: I appreciate how hard Cartier hits, and I also appreciate how she looks at me as if I am going to be her next bad idea. And that whole "I'm pretending to be a demon" thing from Daniela is both hot and dangerous, so that helps.
FAQS: Interesting! I understand Cartier generates a lot of power through her neck and Daniela draws power from the underworld. Do you have any plans or training regimens that you plan to employ to get more results from your players?
GENERIC HEEL: Well, there IS the intense cardio sessions that are mandatory. Roxy knows all about that. Her mom does, too. #2For1Deal! Additionally, everyone has to pass the FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WILL YOU PLEASE STOP SUCKING ASS written test. Multiple choice.
FAQS: Would you mind sharing the current pass/fail rate?
GENERIC HEEL: Final Exam is this Friday, right before game time. Anyone who doesn't pass owes me laps! And licks! And #SpoilerAlert, there is TONS of room for extra credit and my calendar is clear for anyone looking for one-on-one tutoring.
FAQS: Would you mind sharing your thoughts on your expectations from the Hit Girls this season?
GENERIC HEEL: I expect to at LEAST double our wins from last year, even if that means I have to whack Kenzi's ass with a paddle. Sidney Grey knows all about my skills with a paddle. And expect Roxy to be THE most watched receiver in the entire league again.
FAQS: Lofty goals Sir! Before I conclude this, I understand you’re putting your epic undefeated streak on the line in Fight 2 Win. Is there anything you’d like to say to your generic fans?
GENERIC HEEL: My fans know exactly what to expect from me: Another win is expected, so that it is expectedly generic. Wins for that hot mama Elina Cartel are probably rare, and thus NOT generic, but she'll learn real quick why I am undefeated in 27 years of combat.
FAQS: An amazing win streak in any sport Sir! Thank you for sharing your time with me today and best of luck on Friday!
