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Post by Publicist on Sept 4, 2017 16:39:12 GMT -5
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: OW! Babies, listen up, it’s the Doctor coming at you and I want to welcome you to the first edition of SHOTS FIRED! We are here to talk about Cincinnati, and the Doctor is letting you know that this LFL season is gonna be SICK! Everyone is coming down with a fever babies…Johnny Fever! But don’t you worry about that fever being too high because Johnny is here with his MAIN guy, I’m talking about the man so sweet he gives ALL the ladies diabetes! My main man VENUS FLYTRAP!
Venus Flytrap: That’s right people, the name is Venus and yes it’s true I have a big pe...
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: OW! HOLD ON BABIES!! We don’t want no FCC violations on our very first broadcast! We are here to talk about the upcoming LFL season, and more importantly…YOUR CINCINNATI HIT GIRLS!!
Venus Flytrap: Absolutely! The Beasts are out, but Cincy is still in the fight because the Hit Girls are in! CTN teamed up with Lacklan International and our LFL franchise was saved Daddy!
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: You know it was, and the fans are eternally grateful and we are ALL looking forward to this upcoming season. Now, there are lot stories on and off the field, so let’s get to it!
Venus Flytrap: When you talking about a new franchise you gotta talk roster and as soon as they started talking roster, they started talking about who they could build that team around. The co-owner, Sarah Lacklan made no bones about it, that fine drink of albino hotness wanted to bring in an enforcer who dominated last season…Sarah made a hell of a pitch to get Emma Benton from the LA Blackout!
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: She did V! She put out the feelers and she laid some serious bread on the table, but Benton wasn’t having it. She didn’t even want to come to the table and see what Cincinnati had cooked up for her!
Venus Flytrap: Benton passed, but when one door closes, another one opens Daddy and we got ourselves something special in #24, Virginia Stone! She is jacked to the bone and ready to carry that Wonder Cup home!
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: No doubt V! No doubt, but I wonder…now listen to me…I wonder if our General Manager, Sidney Grey was a bit hasty signing a rookie and not laying out a little more scratch for the experience of Benton. I’m just asking!
Venus Flytrap: MAN! Have you SEEN Stone? Did you watch the tape Daddy?! I watched the tape…I seen her run through chicks like dookie through a goose! She might be green as grass, but I know that she can beat some a…
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: WHOA!! FCC GONNA BE ALL OVER WKRP TODAY BROTHA!! Okay…we will see how Stone performs this year as compared to Benton. I got a C-note that says that Benton outperforms Stone and makes the GM eat here words!
Venus Flytrap: I’m gonna take that bet Johnny…and I am gonna take that bread at the end of the year, BELIEVE THAT DADDY!
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: Alright, you heard it here Babies! Stone vs Benton…who has the better season! Venus is taking Stone and The Doctor is putting his green on Benton!
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Post by Publicist on Sept 4, 2017 17:18:57 GMT -5
CODA AND THE GREAT UNIFORM CONTROVERSY
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: Okay Babies! Next issue we are bringing to the table…UNIFORMS!
Venus Flytrap: OH YEAH! Venus comes for the football, but he also comes for the uniforms Daddy!
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: I am hoping that is not an FCC issue, but either way! I know what you mean! The LFL uniform is iconic and let’s be honest, it’s one of the main reasons the sport got off the ground to begin with until men realized that HEY, these girls can REALLY PLAY!
Venus Flytrap: Absolutely Doctor, you won’t get no flack from Venus! Those girls can really light it up out there on the field…but I do like watching those booties shake!
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: True! But believe it or not, there is one member of our Hit Girls team who is NOT wanting to wear the iconic lingerie uniform!
Venus Flytrap: SAY WHAT?!
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: Say CODA, as in the beautiful and deadly #66! She has made it very clear that she is not interested in wearing the current team uniform and has taken the matter of with General Manager Sidney Grey. Yesterday the league deferred the matter to The Hit Girls and Grey has scheduled a meeting with Coda.
Venus Flytrap: Man…I don’t know about you…but now I want to see Coda’s junk in them trunks even worse than I did before! Please tell me that Sid is gonna make her wear that uniform Doctor!
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: I don’t know V, but I can tell you this…once the Doctor finds out…the rest of you Babies out there in Cincy Nation will know the deal!
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Post by Publicist on Sept 4, 2017 18:36:23 GMT -5
ROXY COTTON'S 69 | KENZI DON'T KNOW FOOTBALL
Venus Flytrap: Doctor…DADDY…can we please talk about Roxy Cotton and this jacked up cost for her fan jersey? $69.69 to have #69 all over your body Johnny!!
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: Lets speak on it Venus! Here is my take on why CTN did that. I’m not gonna mince words, plain and simple…fans are JERKS and CTN recognized that the merch is gonna sell just for it being number 69, they are gonna buy it if they love Roxy…but here is the kicker…the HATERS are gonna buy it…JUST TO BURN IT! Pure genius if you ask The Doctor!
Venus Flytrap: I feel you Johnny! If that was the reason for it, then more power to corporate for doing that. Now, in checking the figures…sales of the Roxy jersey are surpassing all sales of all other merchandise right now. Love her or hate her, right now yall are making her rich!
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: On the other end of the spectrum, you have our team captain and starting quarterback, #13 Kenzi Grey-Lacklan. Her jersey has yet to sale a single unit! Is that because people find that number unlucky?
Venus Flytrap: Brotha Doctor, it’s because Kenzi don’t know the difference between football and basketball! I watched her play the other day, she spiked the ball 22 times trying to dribble! MAN, SHE IS TERRIBLE!! Can we put the back up in?
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: Careful Venus, our quarterback happens to be married to the owner, so if she spikes the ball 220 times during the season, you better shut up and smile if you want to keep your job!
Venus Flytrap: Awwwe man, DAMN! |
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Post by Publicist on Sept 4, 2017 19:13:45 GMT -5
RIVALRIES: PERRY WALLACE | MILWAUKEE
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: The season hasn’t even started yet and our Hit Girls are already in some pretty heated rivalries! The first one…I’m not even sure that I will call a rivalry! Our General Manager was hitting on Perry Wallace, the owner of the Sin City Sabres! Now…I don’t know about you, but I don’t want my team’s GM fraternizing with the enemy Venus!
Venus Flytrap: Is she flirting…or is it gamesmanship Doctor? I mean, what better way to get inside another team’s playbook, than to let the owner of the team get inside that…
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: VENUS!! FCC BROTHA, FCC!
Venus Flytrap: Sorry Doctor, but my point stands. Either Sid is trying to do a little insider trading…or she is just a freak!
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: Issue number two is a real team vs team down and dirty! The Milwaukee Mayhem have made no bones that they have our Hit Girls in their sights this season. What started as friendly banter, turned a bit heated Babies! The Doctor thought that someone was going to need emergency surgery!
Venus Flytrap: Well, my money always gonna be on Cincy…even if our quarterback is freaking terrible!
“Doctor” Johnny Fever: You are SO gonna get fired… |
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