Post by Publicist on Jul 25, 2017 0:29:45 GMT -5
For Kenzi, making up with Sarah had been cathartic…but it had also triggered in her a change in the way she viewed things between them. For over five glorious months she had learned to love someone better and more completely than anyone in her entire life…family included. It had taken her some time to trust Sarah, despite that love, but she had gained it…completely. Kenzi could never have imagined that Sarah would do the one thing…the only thing that would utterly crush her…
...how could she just up and leave me? Like I was nothing to her...
Of course, in the end, she came back…but in the scheme of things, the point was that she had picked up and bolted and not even bothered to tell her the truth…
…I smothered the life out of her…
It was a common theme that she had heard before from the very few lovers she had taken in her life. They had all ultimately felt imprisoned in their own way. Sarah was different, she demanded love and when Kenzi refused it…she had run away. That had been a dark time for the two, but when Sarah returned…they had been inseparable. It was a magical time and after Kenzi learned to trust Sarah she never thought it would end…until it ended.
It was as if something inside her was ripped out and thrown into the deepest, darkest, hole imaginable. Going was one thing…lying about it was quite another. Breaking that sacred oath to always be truthful with one another was the bedrock of their life together…and now it was shattered into a million pieces…
…I forgave her…acknowledged my part in her leaving, we are a couple again…
True enough…they were, but things were different now. Sarah wanted room to breathe and now she had it. Kenzi felt like a balloon that had once been full to bursting…all she could see was her love for Sarah. She had neglected all of the things that she had once been just to stay by Sarah’s side. She had been happy and content to be Sarah’s consort…Sarah’s valet…whatever it was that Sarah needed her to be…
…Sarah doesn’t want that…she wants something…different…something, less…
Kenzi spent more and more time away from Sarah…trying to recapture something of what Sarah desired. She wanted the once shining star…the Kenzi Grey that her mother had always wanted her to be…the thing she secretly loathed. All those spaces that had once been filled to bursting with thoughts of Sarah were now slowly filling themselves with something else…something darker…
...sometimes, I look at her...and I want to hurt her...I want to hurt her so badly...
It took some time to recognize what it was, but in time she saw it...it was resentment, and it was slowly eating a hole right through the center of her…
...how could she just up and leave me? Like I was nothing to her...
Of course, in the end, she came back…but in the scheme of things, the point was that she had picked up and bolted and not even bothered to tell her the truth…
…I smothered the life out of her…
It was a common theme that she had heard before from the very few lovers she had taken in her life. They had all ultimately felt imprisoned in their own way. Sarah was different, she demanded love and when Kenzi refused it…she had run away. That had been a dark time for the two, but when Sarah returned…they had been inseparable. It was a magical time and after Kenzi learned to trust Sarah she never thought it would end…until it ended.
It was as if something inside her was ripped out and thrown into the deepest, darkest, hole imaginable. Going was one thing…lying about it was quite another. Breaking that sacred oath to always be truthful with one another was the bedrock of their life together…and now it was shattered into a million pieces…
…I forgave her…acknowledged my part in her leaving, we are a couple again…
True enough…they were, but things were different now. Sarah wanted room to breathe and now she had it. Kenzi felt like a balloon that had once been full to bursting…all she could see was her love for Sarah. She had neglected all of the things that she had once been just to stay by Sarah’s side. She had been happy and content to be Sarah’s consort…Sarah’s valet…whatever it was that Sarah needed her to be…
…Sarah doesn’t want that…she wants something…different…something, less…
Kenzi spent more and more time away from Sarah…trying to recapture something of what Sarah desired. She wanted the once shining star…the Kenzi Grey that her mother had always wanted her to be…the thing she secretly loathed. All those spaces that had once been filled to bursting with thoughts of Sarah were now slowly filling themselves with something else…something darker…
...sometimes, I look at her...and I want to hurt her...I want to hurt her so badly...
It took some time to recognize what it was, but in time she saw it...it was resentment, and it was slowly eating a hole right through the center of her…
[TO BE CONTINUED]
