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Post by Publicist on Jul 23, 2017 9:28:19 GMT -5
...PLEASE...
JFK INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT
New York City, New York
July 20, 2017
"please please please please please"
Sarah's mantra all day. She knew she was nearly delirious from grief, guilt, and lack of sleep; indeed, she had only slept about two fitful hours the night before, the only sleep she had had since Kenzi woke her up to make love on Tuesday morning. She knew she wasn't thinking straight. She had even had moments of hallucinations.
"please please please please please"
Kenzi said she would be there, said she would pick her up. Kenzi had never lied to her. Ever. But Sarah knew that if she did...she would deserve it. She deserved to be lied to. Deserved to have Kenzi angry at her. Deserved to be hated by her. Because she had been a coward.
"please please please please please"
She had not presented herself for travel. Her handmaiden had been in a fit when she received her instructions that of just putting her hair up in a tight bun and to lay the veil before her face. No makeup, no wings, no anything. She wanted to be pure, striped clean, naked. She didn't want to be Sarah for this, did not want to be the Firestarter or the Red Queen. Just a young woman in a black dress that fell to the floor, the symbol of her Renati line woven into one shoulder.
She wanted to be Selena.
"please please please please please"
She blew by her guards as soon as she stepped off the plane, cared not for any information about baggage claim or gate numbers. All she cared about was whether or not the Light of her life was waiting for her. Whether or not she had something to fight for. She planned on fighting hard...fighting harder than she ever had in her life.
"Have faith," her mother said to her father as she passed away, one hand in his as his other arm held their newborn child. Words for them both, words to be passed down through the years to Sarah, the only advice from mother to daughter there could ever be. Sarah held faith...but she also knew that she had stolen it, ripped it out of Kenzi's arms. She had ruined their relationship for her petty gripe of "losing herself." And she hated herself for it.
"please please please please please"
The symbolism of this having been the second time she made this trip, her stomach in her throat, was not lost on her. Five months ago she had thrown caution to the proverbial wind, had dropped everything to create a life with Kenzi, and now her she was again, after having left AGAIN, ready to both beg AND fight for forgiveness. The duality of that situation was also not lost on her: She had to beg and fight. Had to be both Selena and Sarah. Both Kenzi's life partner and the Firestarter. She was terrified that she would fail. Terrified that she would hurt Kenzi again.
"please please please please please"
She doesn't stop as she glides through the tunnel and into the airport, doesn't hesitate as she flies down the stairs two at a time. She does not close her eyes, does not hold her breath, as she bursts through pockets of people, not caring if she upset anyone with her pushing and shoving. All she cared about was that she was ready to fight for the greatest prize of her life.
"PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE"
One last group of travels to push through and she is where she NEEDS to be, where she NEEDS to see:
New Arrivals |
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Post by Publicist on Jul 23, 2017 9:42:33 GMT -5
...IT GETS EASIER TO BREATHE... LACKLANLAND WEST
West Hollywood, California
July 20, 2017
Kenzi sat in their apartment staring at the clock. It was her second night in a row of being alone. The Hexx Season 2.1 First Look helped to pass the time, but it wasn't what she wanted.
Her mind had been on Sarah the whole night. Their heart to heart had been on her mind and thoughts of her kept her distracted. The lie she had told to wring free 48 hours away from her had been devastating to her emotionally. It didn't matter if she was fucking Angie or not. The hurtful part was that she needed a break...from her.
It was good that she now knew that the constant sameness of her being underfoot was driving an invisible wedge between them...at least as far as Sarah was concerned. She never wanted to hurt her...she was the best thing in her life, without exception.
The knock on her door from Frack told her it was time to go to the airport. Kenzi moved quickly at first, excited to see her Selena...her Firestarter. The ride was short, but today it felt long...too long. The closer they got the more nervous she felt about seeing Sarah after everything that had happened. What would she say, what would she do? Talking to each other on a screen was one thing...in person would be quite another.
The car stopped and Frack ran around to get the door for her. "Duchess?" He said with a slight bow, but Kenzi didn't move. He repeated, "We're her Duchess."
She wrung her hands nervously as she spoke. "...take me to the studio..." Frack looked at her oddly, the question on his lips, but he didn't speak it. He nodded and closed the door as he did as she asked.
Kenzi took a deep breath as the car pulled off the curb and away from the airport. At first, it felt like she was drowning but the further away she got, the easier it became to breathe.
The privacy glass rolled down and Frack spoke up, "What do I tell The Queen? She'll be expecting to see you on her arrival."
Kenzi took a few deep breaths then answered. "Tell her something came up and you had to take me to work...I'll see her tonight." It wasn't exactly a lie, but she wasn't meeting her like she said she would. She wasn't ready for that.
Frack spoke up once more. "Happy Birthday Duchess."
Kenzi gave a slight nod then keyed the button to send the privacy glass back up... |
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Post by Publicist on Jul 23, 2017 10:22:22 GMT -5
...A STAR IS (RE)BORN... LACKLANLAND WEST
West Hollywood, California
July 20, 2017
As they finish texting, Sarah let's out a long, slow breath while she snuggles in her bed with her new dwarf bunny.
"It is a start, little one."
CTN STUDIOS
Los Angeles, California
July 20, 2017
Kenzi looked at the latest Baumer Report as it flashed across her phone after texting with Sarah. It was obvious that her not being at the airport had...triggered...The Red Queen...
While that did make her feel like she had gotten some measure of payback, that wasn't the point at all. Kenzi was terrified of what would happen when they finally saw each other again for the first time. Things wouldn't be the same...they couldn't be the same. What was to become of them...if there was even going to be a them anymore. Sarah had made it clear, she didn't want the Kenzi who simply content to follow...she wanted the Kenzi that was the star...the same one that had walked the red carpet in Hollywood last night...even though it was with Ace Watson, a man that Sarah absolutely HATED...
Kenzi had thrown herself back into the business of being a star, everything Sarah loved about her. For her part, she didn't particularly care. She was happy being the girlfriend of The Red Queen...but that wasn't good enough. Sarah wanted more from her, she wanted the woman she fell for hard nearly 6 months ago.
'So be it...' she thought to herself, absently playing with her ring around her neck. She didn't want to be that person, that was the person her mother wanted her to be, the one she railed against...the one that drove her to putting her mother in a coma in order to escape her.
Life was weird... |
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Post by Publicist on Jul 23, 2017 10:42:15 GMT -5
...TO STALK OR NOT TO STALK... CTN STUDIOS
Los Angeles, California
July 20, 2017Kenzi checked her phone every five minutes, looking for messages from Sarah. When they came they were curt, as she should have expected, but they came. Kenzi sent a well-thought out tweet...and waited for Sarah to see it and respond...
No favorite for today's 100 Reasons Post...but maybe that was because she didn't understand it. She would...in time...if she want more time.…🎶 DING 🎶...
She watched as Sarah tweeted at her friends, and that bubble headed blonde cunt rag Angie. Her stomach turned, but it was in that moment that she realized the change in her wasn't complete...there was something else that needed to be done to make herself into what Sarah needed her to be.
'...I need space...room to breathe...' the words echoed in her head.
Kenzi opened the settings in her phone and found them for the contact named 'Selena.' The box was marked to notify her of all interactions...it was basically virtual stalking.
It pained her to uncheck the box...to cut the electronic leash she held on her lover...but if she wanted a chance in hell of keeping her, she had to let her go.
She unchecked the box and the air left her chest. She thought she wouldn't catch her breath, but she did...in time.
She gave her Baby her freedom, freedom to be herself...and she hoped that it did not crush her in the process.
The Red Queen...The Firestarter...Sarah Lacklan, they could all do as they pleased without threat of censor from a jealous girlfriend.
In the end, she didn't know who she felt sorrier for; herself or the world... |
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Post by Publicist on Jul 23, 2017 11:35:40 GMT -5
...GETTING REACQUAINTED... CTN STUDIOS
Los Angeles, California
July 20, 2017
Sarah strokes her bunny with one hand, gently of course (She's so little 😍), and crosses her fingers with the other. "Time for more, little one."
Sarah stalks through the studios of Circle TV like she owns them, a retinue of followers behind her. She was in full Red Queen Mode, wearing a red gown that covered every inch of her, with her Renati symbol etched in gold dust on her gloves, purse, and boots. Her hair was up in a hive and full of red gems, her black veil down her face. Little Has' nose peeked out of her purse, sniffing the air.
Sarah could feel the eyes on her, could feel people whispering. They knew something was wrong. They knew Sarah had been gone lately. Knew that she had not been at the premiere. She even heard small whispers of "Angie" and "Ace." They made her steps the more angry and quick.
She stood alone in front of the door leading to Kenzi's office. Purse in one hand, a bouquet of lavender flowers in the other. She takes several deep breaths to steady herself. And then takes a few more. She reaches up and knocks on the door.
…Tap Tap Tap-Tap Tap...
"Come in!" Kenzi calls out absently. Not looking up from the stack of papers in front of her. As the door opens, Kenzi gestures to the inbox. "Drop that stuff there Suzan, I'll get to it lat..."
She pauses as she realizes that it isn't her assistant, but Sarah. Her heart jumps in her throat and she has to resist to urge to slide across the top of the desk like she was in an episode of The Dukes of Hazzard. Instead she stood up, "Selena."
Sarah has to remind herself to breathe. It had been a long two days. "Beloved." She walks to the desk and sets down her purse before turning to Kenzi and holding out the flowers. "May I have my 10 minutes?"
Kenzi sat back down, cursing herself for a fool to expect anything more. She plastered on a smile as she checked the clock. "Of course!"
Sarah nods and sets down the flowers next to her purse. Looking down at Kenzi, she lifts the veil from her face, clipping it out of the way, and rolls her shoulders. Then springing into action, she throws herself down into Kenzi's lap, straddling her, and takes her head in her hands and jams her lips onto Kenzi's.
Kenzi attacks her lover's mouth right back, tasting her as if she were a cool river running through a burning hot desert. It had been a long time, but the tongues remembered there dance well enough. She squeezed her legs together to stop the longing sensation there. It was too soon...the hurt still too fresh in her mind.
Sarah pulls off to look in Kenzi's eyes, her own blazing with more emotions than her head can keep track of. “I love you, Mackenzie." She attacks again, hands getting tangled in her braids, biting down on her lip before pulling off to look at her again. "You and only you."
Kenzi is left breathless by the assault, but she struggles to maintain her composure. "I know you did what you had to do. It doesn't hurt any less, but I understand and I want you to know that I am going to be better...I'm going to be what you want and deserve. I just...I just need time."
"Shhhhh! Not enough time for chit-chat." She kisses Kenzi again, roughly this time, her hands pulling in braids, biting down harder on her lips before she pulls away. She kisses across her neck to her ear. "Do you want your Lena? Do you want my fire?"
Kenzi straightens herself, patting Sarah's shoulder. "Yes...but later tonight. I hope that's okay." She really did want it then and there, but there was still a bit of hurt she was working through, plus she didn't want to seem too eager for things to go right back to the way they were.
Sarah growls and pulls Kenzi's hair to expose neck. She nibbles for a moment before going back to whisper in her ear, still pulling hard on her hair. "...I want to..."
Kenzi holds her back at arm’s length. "AND I SAID LATER!" Her response is a bit harsher than she meant it to be. "...I'm not going to just jump right back into our old life like nothing happened. Something happened Sarah, something happened that was so bad that it forced you to betray my-OUR trust! I need time to process why I made you do that to me...to us."
Sarah stares at her with blazing eyes. A shiver had run through her when Kenzi had yelled at her. She glances at the clock on the wall. Five minutes. She gives her a small nod of her head. "May we cuddle?"
Kenzi kisses her and holds on tight. She wanted to take Sarah and make love to her right then and there, but if she did that...all the tears and pain would have been for nothing. She needed time to figure out how to be what THEY needed before Sarah left her for good...
Sarah squeezes her tight as she gets settled in her lap. "I will cuddle the FUCK out of you." |
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Post by Publicist on Jul 23, 2017 12:43:34 GMT -5
...A HAPPY ENDING... CTN STUDIOS
Los Angeles, California
July 20, 2017
ONE HOUR LATER…
Her dress discarded and wearing nothing bit tight shorts and a sports bra, Sarah sits on the floor beside the door of the apartment. Legs folded underneath her, eyes closed to focus and keep her mind clear.
Ready to pounce.
Kenzi was both excited and dreading coming home. That had never been the case before. She had always come running as fast as she could, her only thoughts on her Baby...if she was okay and how happy she would be to see her. Now things were uncertain...in her mind. Sarah seemed to be her old self, but it disturbed her that it was that easy. Did the two days really mean that little to her? She had thought that perhaps she wanted to be caught...just to get things off her chest, but it seemed more and more like her trip was nothing more than an emotional booty call and now she was ready for business as usual. Kenzi didn't know how to process that and it bothered her that she couldn't get over things as easily as Sarah apparently had. Kenzi walked in and paused, looking down at Sarah waiting for her. She had seen this before. "Sarah?"
'...no apologies...no tears...just truth...honesty...love...'
The mantra going through Sarah's head. She smiles when she opens her eyes and sees Kenzi looking down at her. But the she looks over her shoulder and puts on a look of pure astonishment. "Is that Salsa, the wrestling bear?!"
"SALSA?!" Kenzi is immediately distracted as she looks for the apple of her eye...as far as bears that dance go.
Sarah pounces. Leaping to her feet, she grabs Kenzi by the waist and drags her to the floor, giggling all the while. Before Kenzi knows it, her shirt is off and her bra unhooked and, with a pillow under her head and stomach to the floor, Sarah is sitting on top of ass and is massaging her shoulders. "Tell me about your day."
Sarah was a talented grappler, she would give her that. Kenzi tried to relax, despite the conflicting emotions. "Sarah...baby steps...please."
Sarah grimaced. "This IS a baby step." She closes her eyes. "Please. Tell me about your day."
Kenzi sighs, nodding as she tries to relax. She drones on about returning to the studio and how surprised and happy they were to see her there. She realizes that this is a terrible slip up since she had told Sarah that she got called in rather than meet her at the airport. She glosses over it, hoping she doesn't notice, turning the conversation to talk of the Lilith character and her push to give that role to her.
Sarah's hands freeze for a moment at the mention of the character, but she continues and hopes it went unnoticed. "I love hearing about your day. Do you have to go in tomorrow at all before we go to Canada?"
Kenzi answers quickly, no hesitation. "Yes...a busy day. You should be good to do whatever you need. Don't worry about me."
Sarah nods to herself. It's what she wanted...right? She lays down on Kenzi, letting her feel Kenzi's form and letting Kenzi feel her weight. She breathes Kenzi's scent in before letting out a shaky breath. “...I love you..." She bounds to her feet. "Come on! Let me draw you a bath and take our time getting ready for your dinner!"
The bath proves to be a better icebreaker than Kenzi initially thought. The water and Sarah's loving caresses set her mind at ease in a way that few other things had over the last 48 hours. They weren't back in old form yet, but things were heating up...slowly.
SOMETIME LATER...
Kenzi got dressed and ready in short order, ready to really eat for the first time since Sarah left (deserted) her. It was nice to be dressed up with someplace to go.
As the got into the car, Kenzi made her first tentative step towards normalcy when she pinched Sarah's bottom. "Hope you're ready for your present! I'm SOOOO excited!!!"
Sarah's face heated and she yelped at the unexpected but wholly welcome pinch. She actually blushed as she settled the unnecessarily wide skirts of her dress. She was extra puffy today, with the Renati symbol throughout the red and black stripped pleats. She smiles at Kenzi through lowered eyes as the door shuts and the car begins to move. "I am intrigued, obviously." The secret look of mischievousness enters her eyes and smirk. "Want to have a need to re-do our makeup before we get out of the car?"
"We can make out on the way." It was a generous compromise...though her body was craving more. She shoved those feelings down.
Sarah was on her immediately, pressing her against the seat. Soft kisses, rough tongues, nibbles, and whispers of "...I love you..." and "...I am yours...you are mine..." combine in a torrent of passion that Sarah tries to pour her heart into. She does, indeed cause a need for them to reapply makeup by the time the car comes to a halt, both breathless. “So...ready?"
"To eat?" She rubs her tummy. "I'm starving! Legit, the last meal I ate was with you before you left. I didn't really feel much like eating after..." she paused, "...after."
Sarah freezes and then makes a decision. "I know you don't want me to keep apologizing..." She slides back over and presses Kenzi back into her seat, putting their faces close. "...but I haven't done it in person, so shit up and let me do this. No phones...no video chats...woman to woman, lover to lover."
She pauses.
"I am sorry for how I went about things. I am sorry that I lied to you, regardless of the reason. I am sorry I tore apart our trust. And I promise you that I will do anything and everything to rebuild it." She licks her lips. "I love you, Mackenzie. Now if you are ready, I have a surprise for you."
Kenzi caresses the side of the face she missed and then wanted to punch over the last two days. She sighed. "You did what you needed to do. Maybe things weren't as good as I thought...that's on me..." She looked down at her hands. "...still pissed..."
"I want you to be." Sarah takes her hands. "I didn't make you mad on purpose. But I DO want you to be mad at me. I want you to WANT to punch me, or throttle me. I WANT you to be pissed if I do something stupid, or irresponsible towards you, or anything like that. It helps me feel like...I don't know...that I'm worth the attention." She shrugs. "I'm still not orating what I mean well. I KNOW you love me. I KNOW you like me. But I need you to be angry with me, too. Does that make sense, at all?"
Kenzi pressed their foreheads together. "...I hate you...let's go inside..."
Before they know it, they are being ushered out of the car and in front of a building Kenzi would never expect.
The Roxy.
Sarah takes her hand and squeezes it. "I know you wanted it just to be us..." She pulls her to the door. "I know you don't like celebrating your birthday..." She stops them at the door and turns to her. "I love you, Ken. And I wanted to show you how much everyone else loves you, too." She smiles. "Please don't hate me for this."
Without letting her respond or catch her bearings, Sarah pulls Kenzi through the doors. "SURPRISE!!!!!!
An eruption of noise assaults them. The famous music venue is jammed full of people, standing room only, all faces Kenzi would recognize. Wrestlers, friends, acquaintances, the entire Hexx and All That Glitters production staffs.
"Happy 20th Birthday, Ken!"
Sarah turned to her shocked girlfriend. "I set this up initially a month ago. It was hard keeping it a secret with so moving parts." She shrugs. "I spent all day yesterday on the phone bringing it together." She giggles. "Definitely made me NOT want to be a party planner!"
Kenzi hugs her, kissing her cheek and holding on tight, swaying to unheard music in her head. "I love you."
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Post by Publicist on Jul 23, 2017 14:41:34 GMT -5
...BURNING DESIRES... THE ROXY
Los Angeles, California
July 20, 2017
The world melts away as the two have a wonderful time at Kenzi’s birthday bash. Sarah makes a very poignant effort to hold some part of Kenzi throughout the rest of the night. Kenzi is happy to allow it, because she loves her Baby.
Sarah clutches to Kenzi's hand like she might lose it as they walk towards the back of the venue. "So, what IS this gift nonsense of yours about, anyway?"
They walk outside to find the man standing in the alleyway. He gives her a nod and Kenzi hugs her and Sarah detects the smell of gas. Kenzi hugs her. "Baby...Spike has agreed to let you set him on fire!” Kenzi smirked, "For 5K!" He grumbled.
Sarah's eyes tear up. "Oh, baby! You shouldn't have!" She turns to her, shaking her head. "I don't deserve this!"
LATER THAT NIGHT...
Sarah was emotionally exhausted by the end of the party. From the crushing defeat of Kenzi not being at the airport in the morning to the various mini battles she had waged both in person and on the phone, she felt that she had made great progress in her fight to save her relationship. She knew there was a long road ahead, but she had taken Nikita's words to heart: Only SHE could fix the loss of trust.
"I don't trust you anymore."
She had felt like dying when she read that the day before. Had felt like leaping off a bridge. She bad thrown her honor into the trash for...for...what? A panic attack?!
But Sarah was ready for this war. She had fought for that love and trust and would fight for it again. Little handwritten notes saying "I love you" stashed away in Kenzi's briefcase and purse. Sarah's perfume sprayed in strategic places. Some of their pictures placed in new frames.
She was going to win this war.
She had something to fight for again.
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Post by Publicist on Jul 23, 2017 15:17:43 GMT -5
...REUNITED, MOSTLY... LACKLANLAND WEST
West Hollywood, California
July 21, 2017
Last night had been magical and had almost made her forget about how terrible the start of her week had been. The birthday celebration had been the biggest and best of her life, and she'd never be able to thank her enough for that.
The ride home was filled with 'thank you's' 'sorrys' and cuddling. When the two fell into their apartment, it was almost like old times as hands roamed freely while they kissed and fell into bed together. It seemed that things were back to normal...then Kenzi retreated a bit.
Sarah sensed the hesitation and didn't push, to her credit. Kenzi nuzzled against Sarah, her eyes on the fading bite marks she'd left on Monday. That memory of how they were seemed so distant to her now...like it was two different people.
She wanted to get back to that person...she wanted to move past being hurt and angry. It was easier said than done.
Kenzi clings to Sarah, just wanting to get some more of the hurt feelings out.
"I love you. If you wanted someone else...it would cripple me, but...if they made you happy, I'd let you go." She smiled, but it was a sad one. "...I'd be your Mistress...until you realized you made a mistake and came back...probably..."
Sarah started to protest, but Kenzi stopped her.
"Let me talk...I just need to say these things. I'm angry that you lied, I'm jealous that you wanted to spend time with that bubble head Angie Vaughn, and I'm sad that I made you do it. I wish I wasn't broken...you deserve better, but I don't want you to have better. I just want it to be me."
"I always think back to the night you sang 'Love on the Brain' to me and how much that song meant. I would have fucked you on that stage, then and there...I would have married you on that stage, then and there. I'd never felt more loved...in my life..."
"...Tuesday...I'd never felt worse...."
"I don't say this to make you feel bad, or punish you...I just need you to know what it felt like...what it still feels like."
"...that's all..."
The two kissed and fondled, trying to rekindle the fire that had burned so brightly before. Kenzi submitted herself to Sarah, allowing her the lavish attention on her body that had been neglected since Monday, but in the end she could not. She held Sarah back, just to hold her.
"...I'm sorry Baby...I'm sorry..."
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Post by Publicist on Jul 23, 2017 18:53:32 GMT -5
...GETTING TO THE BOTTOM OF THINGS... CTN STUDIOS
Los Angeles, California
July 21, 2017
Kenzi waited in one of the offices in the studio for Sarah to join her. She had hoped to make up for this morning’s failure at a return to intimacy and she hoped to make it up to her. One of the guards called to let her know that Sarah was on her way and she got herself ready.
In short order, Sarah bursts into Kenzi's office in a rush, wearing little more than workout clothes, no makeup, and her hair still wet from a fast shower. "SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY" She sets down a bag from The Pancake House before she plops down in a chair, breathing hard. "...ran...from the car..."
Kenzi leans over the desk and smiles at her. "I need help. I dropped my fork under the desk and I can't find it."
Sarah didn't understand what she meant at first, then her eyes grew wide as she caught on. She looked underneath and saw that she was nude from the waist down. "Do you see it?"
"Ohhhh! I think I see it!" Sarah scrambles out of her chair and onto the ground, crawling over to Kenzi and sliding under the desk. She settles on her knees and looks up at Kenzi with a look of pure subservience. "Are you sure?"
Kenzi takes a breath, looking at Sarah evenly, just a hint of trepidation in her eyes. "I realized...my problem early in our relationship was trust. I didn't trust you...but...you won me over." She sighed. "...I know you love me. I know you say nothing happened. I know you feel smothered. I know I love you and I want you...but...I don't know if I can keep you happy."
Sarah gives her a small nod and leans forward to hug her, putting her head on her lap. "Touch my hair, please."
Kenzi's hands hover over her head for a moment, then she caressed her platinum locks. Her breath hitches and she feels herself heat up from the intimate touch. "...I love you so much...I want to make you happy Baby. I want to make you happy with me again..."
Sarah loses herself in the moment, hugging Kenzi, feeling her hands in her hair. "I love you, Ken." She shakes her head. "But I am not going to pressure you. Fight for, yes. Pressure, no." She turns her head so that Kenzi can get to the other side. "I know it hurts to hear...it hurts to say...but let me breathe and I will make you mine until the day we die."
Kenzi played with the ring dangling from her neck. She had thought about ripping it off and hurling it out the window...but she hoped that they could come back from this. "I never meant to stop you from being yourself. I didn't realize that you felt like I was. I guess I'm just...stupid."
"You're brilliant. And funny. And insightful. And fierce." She pauses for a moment. "Question: If I let you...would you punch me in the face right now?"
"NO!" Kenzi shook her head, but the thought crossed her mind last night in the car. She had wanted to punch her right in the face...but she didn't. "I just want to be better."
Sarah grimaces into Kenzi's lap and doesn't notice her foot tapping underneath her. She breathes out and hugs Kenzi tighter. She has a smile on her face when she looks up. "Come on. Let's eat. For real. I got you grits. Because black!"
Kenzi pulls her up and kisses her face. "Sure."
Sarah looks at her levelly. "We are going to finish this session." She touches her cheek. "When you are ready. When I have earned your trust back."
"I do trust you..." She looks away, pushing the food aside. "...I don't trust myself. I...I thought we were doing so good...then you left. You had enough..." Her face twists against her will and tears cascade down her cheeks. "I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID TO CHASE YOU AWAY!"
Sarah's eyes blaze and a shiver runs through her body as Kenzi screams at her. "...finally..." She doesn't bother trying to calm her face or put on a mask of serenity. "You stopped being yourself. Which meant that I had to stop being me."
Kenzi pounds her fists on the desk as she stands, her eyes blazing with sheer fury. "GET OUT!! GET THE FUCK OUT!!"
Sarah's entire body shivers at the display, and, of all things, heats up. She could feel herself getting turned on as she stepped forward and got in Kenzi's face. "NO! I will NOT leave! I will NEVER leave again! I asked you out. I asked you to move in. I asked you to marry me. I am 100% devoted to you. But I will NOT give up." She licks her lips. "I am SORRY that I lied. I regretted it moment it went down and will have to explain my sins to the Creator. But I will NOT walk out on you. If you want me out? MAKE ME."
Kenzi balls up her fists, her mind flipping back to the Rock Concert when she had punched Sarah, to her eternal shame. She'd lost it and lashed out stupidly, and she was on the verge of doing it again. Instead, she bullied her way past Sarah, nearly knocking her over as she stormed into the hallway, screaming even as jaws dropped all around at the sight of Kenzi's bare ass hanging out. "GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!! GET OUT!!!"
"...fine..." Sarah grabs her purse and glides past her, her face flushed. "...I’ll be back to pick you up for the airport at 3…please be ready…and put on some pants!"
Sarah turned on her heel, storming out…
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Post by Publicist on Jul 23, 2017 19:25:02 GMT -5
...FIGHTING FOR LOVE... CTN STUDIOS
Los Angeles, California
July 21, 2017
Kenzi walks out, right on time…wearing pants as she gets into the car, slamming the door. She keeps her eyes out the window, refusing to look at Sarah.
Sarah feels like she is on fire, but with anger and sexual desire. It feels like she could shoot lines of fire from her fingertips or breathe lightening. "You NEVER let me be me. You SAY that you don't want me to change...you fucking INSIST on it...yet every time I do something fun or silly with someone, you transform into a subtweeting, petulant little BITCH! Do you want me and my rough edges or not?!"
Kenzi rolled her eyes. She didn't want to fight because she'd strangle her if she did. "Fine Sarah. Hug, kiss, fuck...I don't care...just be happy!" She didn't mean it, not all of it, but she was tired, hungry, and pissed.
Sarah narrows her eyes and grits her teeth. "Of the two of us...I am the one who has NOT kissed someone else..." Sarah shakes her head. "I took out my anger on you over that. We made peace with it. But you? You never show anger to me. Ever! I KNOW I make you mad about things. I KNOW I piss you off. I KNOW you don't agree with everything I do. But you act like it is nothing, like you prefer the fantasy of a perfect life." She licks her lips. "I have rough edges. And you once said you loved me for them. Has that changed? Do you no longer love me FOR me? I love Kenzi Grey and all of her faults."
Kenzi's jaw worked as she did her best not to go on another screaming tantrum. "You fault me for loving you? Is that what this is now?" She turned to her, her eyes narrowed. "Is it wrong to want a perfect life with a perfect woman?"
Sarah shakes her head. "Your Lena is not perfect, Beloved. She is arrogant...selfish..." She closes her eyes. "...and a fucking stupid coward..." She opens her eyes again. "But I love who I am. And sometimes it feels like instead of enjoying my fire...you want to smother it out. Does that make sense?"
There were those words again. There was the running joke of her existence. It always happened...she thought they were beyond such things, yet clearly they were not. She sighed, shaking her head. "No...it doesn't. You want me to be angry, but let you do whatever you want?! It doesn't make sense, but...if that's what you want...you'll have it. All the space you can handle..." She felt like everything slowed to a crawl as she lashed out.
SMACK!!!
Kenzi slapped Sarah so hard that the car pulled over and Frick rolled down the privacy glass to check on his Queen. Sarah's vision blurred and she could only feel pain. She shot up a hand and angrily signed to Frick and the glass went back up in an instant. Sarah could feel her feet shaking…she had never been more turned on than she was right now.
"...again..."
"GODDAMN YOU!!!" Kenzi jumped on her, pounding her with her fists as tears rolled down her face. She sobbed uncontrollably as she spat out her venom. "YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO LOVE ME MORE THAN THE REST OF THEM!!! YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO HURT ME!!! YOU WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO LIE!!!" She stopped, falling back in the seat, her shaking hands covering her face. "...you promised not to leave..."
Sarah leans back against her side with a stunned look on her face. She had never been hit so hard in her life. Her tongue snakes out and licks at the trickle of blood coming from a busted lip. She breathes in through her nose and that hurt. Might be broken. She swallows hard.
"...you promised to not let me leave..."
She sits up with a groan and looks at her lover's crying face, her own eyes welling. She slips to her knees, wedging herself in between Kenzi's seat and wall, and throws her arms around Kenzi's waist. "Please forgive me for the lie. PLEASE. I love you so much that...I...I tried to do anything to avoid hurting you. But I fucked up. I fucked everything up."
Kenzi just held on and cried. She never wanted to hurt Sarah, and she'd done it again. This wasn't the life she dreamed of...apologies and violence. She'd never wanted that...but here she was. "...I forgive you..." She said the words, but she was still stunned by her own actions and what that meant. Is that just what Sarah meant when she said to let her be her and be angry?
"Please tell me when I go too far. PLEASE. Let me breath...but fight for me, too. Make me feel like I am worth fighting for. Does that make sense?"
Kenzi just nodded. She wanted this to be over. She needed time to figure out who she was and what Sarah expected of her. She wanted to be flirty Sarah? So be it. If she wanted to be the Firestarter and destroy people, so much the better. She could be all those things...
"...I'm not going to stand in your way..." She clenched her teeth. "...promise me that you won't leave me again...no matter what I do."
Sarah looks up at her. "Mackenzie Michaela Grey...I promise on my mother's grave that I will never leave you or lie to you again."
She was silent, as she gathered her thoughts. "...this is the person you want by your side?"
Sarah smiles, a hint of mania in her eyes. "Straight into the dark."
Kenzi takes her head in her hands, pressing their foreheads together. "...I need the same from you then. No more jealousy...save it for when we are together. We will answer to each other then and there. But...the world...we burn that together..."
Sarah leans down to kiss Kenzi's ring and then settle her head back in her lap, hugging her waist tight.
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