Post by Publicist on Jul 18, 2017 21:21:55 GMT -5
LACKLANLAND WEST
West Hollywood, California
July 18, 2017
The morning of Sarah’s trip to New York City for her LAW Outreach Program with Angie Vaughn was a sober one for Kenzi. Despite the long night of fun they had together, Kenzi didn’t sleep a wink. She laid in bed watching Sarah doze…her pale, but curvy frame rose and fell with each passing breath. She was a vision to Kenzi, even as she lay their asleep, her hair spread out around her like a platinum veil. She as so in love with her…it actually hurt to look and not touch her.
…BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ...
Kenzi sucked her teeth as she fumbled for her phone, glancing at it and seeing the number for the studio on the screen. She hit ignore, refusing to pick up the phone, just as she had since Hexx when on its mid-season break several months ago. That break should have ended last month, but Kenzi hadn't returned to compete her work...she was too busy being in love.
In fact, her last few projects had been affected by her feelings for Sarah. The last project she finished from start to finish was one that Sarah was on, 'All That Glitters.' It was the movie that had brought them together. After they became an item, they were inseparable on set. Kenzi’s next big project was 'Silent, but Deadly' but after Sarah dropped out of the project because of differences with the writer, Kenzi's took it upon herself to greatly reduce her role in the movie from co-star to dying before the opening credits.
Kenzi didn't see it...or didn't care. Sarah was her life now and she didn't give a damn about anything or anyone else. Sarah had only spent one day away from her since they became lovers...and this morning would be the last that they spent together for two solid days. She woke Sarah up at the ass-crack of dawn and she loved her harder than she ever had before. She wanted to give her lover a reason to miss her…wanted to give her a reason to hurry home. She even took to biting Sarah’s shoulder...marking her territory, to make sure that Angie Vaughn would see the love mark and would be warned to watch her step.
When they were done, Sarah was left barely able to move, but move she did. She had an early flight out and Kenzi sent her to shower as she looked to making sure her lover's needs were taken care of. She planned out every detail and left nothing to chance, Frick and a pair of Handmaidens were at the ready for the drive to the airport and the long trip. The two ate breakfast together, laughing at first then growing silent as the time to go drew close. When they separated at the airport, there was a lot of long silences, handholding, and kisses...but not many parting words, other than to "take care" "be safe" "enjoy yourself, but not too much...bitch."
Kenzi tried to pretend to be okay for Sarah, but it was just pretend. She sat and watched the plane, not moving until it was in the air and well out of sight. Frack, Sarah’s other bodyguard nearly had to carry her to the car and put her inside for the drive home...back to her mother...back to the Hell without her Baby...
CIRCLE TELEVISION STUDIOS
Los Angeles, California
Later that day...
Kenzi walked into the television studio that produced her television show and eyes widened and jaws dropped in surprise. The star hadn’t graced the set in weeks and finally she was back and all was right with the world. The new season of Hexx would soon be hitting television screens all over the world now that she had returned. For her part, getting back into the game was slow going at first, but she got back into the swing of things as the day progressed. The in-studio grind would be a good way to pass the time and distract her from Sarah being gone and get through the next 48 hours of being a solo act.
…DING...
She glanced down at her phone and a pang of both jealousy and pride filled her. The LAW Outreach Program was in full swing in New York City. Sarah had hit the ground running with an early start at the side of Angie Vaughn and for only the second time in their storied history, Kenzi was on the outside looking in. Sarah and Angie were beautiful together as they lit up New York City. Indeed, they were both shining like diamonds while all Kenzi could do was watch…
Her mother had brokered a deal to make Sarah a sponsor of Renati Brand Apparel and Sarah was already taking flight with her very own 'Firestarter' line. She was showing off her fashion and she was doing the one thing that Kenzi had always been desperate to do, represent LAW instead of being rebuffed by it.
It was that reality that made this all so much easier to swallow. Sarah was living the dream that Kenzi had for herself...to be regaled by LAW and heralded as the future of the business. Kenzi had never been mentioned favorably by LAW, not even once...not even when carrying one of it's championships. She had busted her hump promoting LAW, going to rival promotions, doing charity events, but it never mattered and it never raised her profile a single notch. Sarah was on a rocket ship to the top, she had managed to avoid the stigma of her association with Kenzi, and that was a good thing for her.
Kenzi had almost begged to go with Sarah, but she had insisted that she stay behind and bond with her mother. Sarah would go to New York with Angie and they would promote Queen of the Ring and Sidney's newest acquisition, Renati Brand Apparel. Kenzi was so jealous that she thought that there might be a green tint to her skin, but at the end of the day, all that mattered was being happy for Sarah. That also meant defending her against the haters as well. Maggie Lockheart, the girlfriend of Sam Tolson was quick to go after Sarah while she posted her promotional pictures, and Kenzi was right there to defend her...only what came next was more of a slap in the face of Kenzi than it was for The Firestarter...
At first, Kenzi refused to believe what the woman had said, dismissing her outright as a liar. It wasn’t until LAW officially confirmed that here was indeed no such thing as an Outreach Program that Kenzi was forced to accept the truth…Sarah had lied to her. Not only had she lied, but she had lied right to her face several times about the trip. It felt like a dagger in her chest, like all of the air had been knocked out of her. She texted Sarah, begging her to tell the truth, and even then she lied, until the mountain of evidence was too high for her to continue to ignore.
…BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ...
Kenzi stared at the phone, dreading to answer it, but desperately needing to know why her Baby had lied to her. She had never given her any reason to doubt her and honesty had been the bedrock of their relationship from the very start. Without trust, there was nothing…now Kenzi was left to wonder how much of their life together was a lie.
She fingered the black diamond ring that she wore on her necklace. Her fingers trembled as she held it. It had always comforted her before, but now whatever mystical power it held was gone…maybe gone for good…
…START VIDEO CHAT...
Sarah is visibly shaken and her face is even more pale than usual. She stands in a corner and the tip of her Renati symbol, her firebird on flight, can be seen on the breast of her dress. "I-I'm sorry. I...um...I needed some space to get some work done. Things I have been working on. I needed to start this Renati line. To push my face for UGWC. Other...things."
Ken nods curtly, the camera dips, her face no longer in the frame. "H-How much...space...?" Her voice cracks as she asks the question. "...should I pack...?"
Sarah's eyes glisten. "No! Baby, no no no no no...it’s not like that! I just..." She closes her eyes and lets out a big breath. "I needed to breathe for a couple of days." She opens her eyes and is physically fighting back tears. "The last five months have been magical, but I just can't breathe lately."
Kenzi stiffened as she answered, "...okay...Thursday then..." then abruptly shut off her phone, tears beating a hot trail down her cheeks.
…VIDEO CHAT ENDED...
Kenzi broke down as she ran to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her, barely able to breathe. She slid down the back of the door, hands covering her face as she thought of all the time they had shared together for the last five months. In all that time, her only thoughts had been of Sarah, morning, noon, and night. She had hardly ever been out of the girl’s sight…that was how much she loved her. Kenzi had followed her all over the planet with hardly a word or complaint. So long as she was beside Sarah, the rest of the world didn’t matter to her. Now, in that one act of deception it was all gone.
Every beautiful memory the two had made was now colored with the doubt of Sarah’s lie. Yes, she had run off to New York City with another woman. Spending two wonderful days and glorious nights in public, taking pictures together like a couple while Kenzi sat at home…alone…like a goddamn fool.
Kenzi screamed as she got to her feet and drove her fist into the bathroom mirror, shattering the image of herself as shards tumbled onto the vanity and floor. She glared at the broken reflection that remained…fractured and most importantly, alone. She fell back down to the knees, chest heaving as she struggled to catch her breath. Her mind raced with the all manner of crazy thoughts of Sarah and Angie together; kissing, touching, fuc…
“…oh God…” Kenzi crawled into one of the stalls and vomited into the toilet, tears streaking her face and her body quaking. She felt like she was dying…
…KNOCK, KNOCK...
“Kenz? Are you okay?”
Her mother’s voice was the last thing she wanted to hear right now. “GO AWAY! I’M FI…” She retched again, as she was unable to control gnawing feeling in the pit of her stomach.
“I’m coming in!” Sid rushed in and went to her daughter’s side. Her face was colored with concern as she held her Kenzi’s hair as she continued to vomit. Sid patted her back, trying her best to comfort her. “I’m here…you don’t have to worr…”
Kenzi whirled on her, eyes burning with anger and rage. “You lied to me! You told me that Sarah was going to New York for LAW…IT WAS A LIE, YOU FUCKING LIED TO ME!!”
Sid took a deep breath, straightening herself. Sid had set up the trip, and her agenda had been clear from the start; put Sarah and Kenzi at odds. She sent Sarah to New York with Angie Vaughn and she arranged for the two to not only share a room, but a bed. She knew that Sarah was a giant lesbian whore who couldn’t resist the urge to diddle another woman…given the chance. Kenzi needed to be made to see that what she had with Sarah wasn’t real…she needed to see the truth and finally listen to her mother.
Sid stood back, taking a deep breath as she faced the accusation. “I lied…AFTER Sarah made up the thing about the trip being for LAW. It was never my intent to lie Kenzi, but I did go along with it, yes.”
Kenzi pulled herself up, her face a wet, mascara streaked mess. She wiped at her cheeks angrily. “…how could you…?” her voice was a low hiss. “…what were you thinking? TELL ME!!”
Sid took a step back in the face of her daughter’s rage. Her heels crunched in the broken shards of mirror scattered across the floor. “I NEED YOU TO WAKE UP! I need you to see that this thing that you think you have isn’t real! You’re both two stupid girls playing at being a couple…pretending to be in love! What you’re doing is disgusting! ITS DISGUSTING KENZI!! YOU’RE NOT A LES…
Kenzi charged at her and Sid backed away, slipping and sliding back to the door as Kenzi fell against the sink, her eyes blazing with rage. “YOU DID THIS!!”
Sid held up her hands, “I led her to the water…she's the one that drank! She’s the one that lied to you. She’s the one that’s in New York with Angie!” Sid stood straighter, meeting her child’s gaze with indignation. “Sarah is a greedy little bitch who wants the world and everything in it…but she wants it on her own terms! You think she loves you? She loves the fact that she owns you! You think she wants a life with you? She wants you in her life when it is convenient for her!” Sid took a step towards Kenzi, trying to show her that she was really on her side. “What more proof do you need? She’s a goddamn whore who will do anything for herself! She doesn’t care about you…no one cares about you except for me, your mother!”
Sid took a deep breath, lifting her chin as she prepared to give Kenzi a dose of the truth. She needed to hear this and she needed to hear it right now. “I freely admit, that what I did…sending Sarah and Angie away together was a bit nasty…a bit underhanded, but it needed to be done. You’re my child and you deserve to be with someone with which you have a future; and as much as I like Sarah…and I truly do like her, there is NO future with someone like her! The whole lesbian thing is bad enough, but Sarah is a creature of violent tendencies with a desire to fight any and every one in her the way of her goals. I don’t fear this quality, I recognize and admire it…she is like me, or at least who I use to be before my career was taken away.” Sid could see Kenzi flinch at the mention of that.
“My child deserves a better life than that…you deserve better than me! I don’t care if you love Sarah and I don’t care that you heart is broken in a million million pieces, as you so eloquently put on social media; I won’t allow you to throw your future in the toilet for a goddamn ring monkey! This life is not easy…it’s hard and it’s thankless, except for the very few fans who don’t come to see your tits flop out or your brains get dashed out of your skull. You do this because you love combat, you love to fight and to win. What future is there with someone like that, like her, like she and I?”
“I would rather see you with a good man with a life and children in the offering. If I can’t get that, I’d settle for a bad man, so long as he was a fucking man! Kenzi, you may not forgive me for sending Sarah and Angie on that trip to New York together, but you will thank me in time when you realize that I saved you from a life of pain killers, hotel rooms that smell of piss, and the slim to none chance of being something great in this industry!”
“I took my shot and I was great! I was every bit as good as Sarah is right now. I was strong as an ox and meaner than a pissed off rattlesnake. I cussed, I drank, I fucked, and I fought…I did all those things and I did them all while being in love with the business of professional wrestling. It was my life, the only one I dreamed about until it was ripped out of my hands by injury. I fought to get back, but I never did…not like I wanted to. I neglected all the best things in life, including you…” Sid paused, finally looking sincere for the first time in a long time. “…I did that, just to get back to all of the things I warned you about; and for what? What did it gain me? What magical prize did I win?”
Sid let her shoulders slump, “ “I’m a bitter old woman and I have nothing to show for the years I spent. The greatest accomplishment that I can lay claim to is shitting out a kid that I was too drunk and drugged up to raise myself. That is not the life I want for you, but that is the life that you’re chasing after! Sarah’s life, not yours! You would see the truth in my words and the stupidity of this all if you weren’t suffering from snow blindness! That Lackland girl has her claws in deep, but I will find a way to pull them loose before it’s too late!”
Kenzi lowered her head, her long dark braids obscuring her face as she spoke, her voice low and hoarse with emotion. “…you should get out…now…”
Sid took another step towards her, reaching out. “Kenz, I…”
“GET OUT!! GET THE FUCK OUT!!” she screamed and Sid staggered back as Kenzi rushed at her. She opened the door and fell outside as Kenzi slammed it shut and locked it. She beat her fist against the door leaving a bloody smear from the cut on her right hand. She turned, sliding back down to the floor, sobbing uncontrollably.
She didn’t know how much of what her mother said was true, but she did know that Sarah had lied to her…broken their sacred rule to never be false with one another. That was the bedrock of their relationship…it was trust…without it, there was nothing…nothing at all. Sarah has taken that solid foundation and shattered it…along with her heart.
Kenzi sat there remarking on how she actually deserved this. It was the chickens coming home to roost. This is what Kate Steele felt when Kenzi lied to her and pretended to be in love with her. Is that was Sarah was doing? Pretending to be in love with her? Using her…playing some kind of sick game?
This was karma…this was Kenzi getting what she deserved…wasn’t it?
A FEW HOURS LATER...
Kenzi had sat in the bathroom for hours subtweeting the world her angst. Sarah called her over and over while her mother texted her from just outside; she ignored them all. She was hurting like hell and all she could thing about was Kate Steele and how similar this situation was. Kate had poured out her heart to Kenzi to profess her love…and Kenzi had lied to Kate, pretended to love her back in order to get what she wanted. This was getting what you deserved on a cosmic scale.
Kenzi took her phone, set it to record as she held it in her shaking hands. Her agonized face filled the screen, smeared with dark mascara and wet with tears, she took to addressing things directly with her former tag team partner…
“Kate…” Her voice was strained and she sniffed, using her free hand to drag the hair out of face, tears still trickling down.
“…I want to say I’m sorry for what I did to you. I know that I apologized already. I know you accepted it and I know we said we would put it behind us…we would move on together. Maybe make another run at those tag team titles down the road after Queen of the Ring. We said a lot of things…but…it didn’t matter because you couldn’t get past the lie that I told after you said that you loved me…”
Kenzi took a deep breath, hitching as she struggled to catch and hold it. “I justified lying to you because I wanted something…I wanted to achieve something in LAW and finally get what I thought I deserved. Obviously, we didn’t get that…we didn’t get anything at all for our hard work…and my deception. I can’t undo what happened Kate…I can’t un-tell the lie I told you and I can’t undo the horrible feelings that lead us to this point where you and I are now at odds…again.” She straightened, throwing back her shoulders as she did, “I can tell you this Kate; I know what I did was wrong and I won’t justify it further by saying that you shouldn’t have fallen in love with me. That’s a cop out. You deserve better because I know now that the heart wants what the heart wants…there’s nothing you can say or do in the face of that…”
Kenzi looked down, her thoughts turning to the situation between her and Sarah. Her heart wanted Sarah…still…no matter what her mother said, she still loved Sarah, even if she was 2.780 miles away and sleeping with another woman. It was like a knife in her chest…yet…she could not easily turn off her love for the woman who had opened a whole new world to her.
When she spoke again, it was from the heart, but the person it was directed to could not easily be discerned, “…I don’t know if you ever really loved me or if was just the fact it was convenient because I was right there. Maybe you loved me…maybe you still do…maybe you don’t anymore…maybe you never did…” her voice grew small as her eyes dropped and she struggled to hold the phone steady in her hands. She squeezed her eyes shut tight as she cursed under her breath…
“…fuck…”
She took a deep breath, raising up the phone. When she spoke again, her voice was a bit stronger…her eyes a bit more focused, but there was still a question about to whom she was speaking, “I was hurt and I was angry when you lied to me. You looked me in my face and told me that everything was okay between us. I believed you…I trusted you. But everything wasn’t okay between us…was it…WAS IT?!” Her face flushed red with rage, “GODDAMN YOU! GODDAMN YOU TO HELL!”
She shook her head, her hand rubbing her face, trying to clear away the pain and the hurt. This situation was tearing her to pieces. She had lost a friend because of a lie and she had lost the love of her life because of another lie. It was too much…but…she’d have to deal with it…she’d have to deal with them both.
When she spoke again, there was no doubt who she was addressing. “Kate…I don’t know what I did to make you think that you loved me. God in Heaven, I wish that I knew, I would bottle it and give it away for free if I could! All I ever wanted was to be loved…that’s all any of us can ever really hope for, isn’t it?” Kenzi sniffed, wiping away a final tear. “I don’t love you…I care about you as a friend, but I don’t love you and I never did. I never will love you…I know that because I love someone else who may or may not still love me. I get that you are upset and that you think I did something terrible to you…but this, this is all of your own making Kate! You are the one that begged me to stay in LAW and you are the one that smiled in my face and said that this was all behind us, then took to social media to talk shit about Sarah after we buried the hatchet!”
Kenzi leaned back against the door, a smirk touching the corners of her lips. “But…that is what you do, isn’t it? That is what you have always done. I watched you for a lot longer than you know Kate. I watched you latch on to the flavor of the month and ride those coattails until you crashed and burned or until it suited you to jump ship and move on to the next thing that you could try to leech a few more moments of fame out of. You have done that your entire career Kate and I should have known that was what you were planning to do with me in Guilty Pleasure. You were going to ride that wave for as long as you could…and then…after you got what you wanted, after you got so big and bloated that you couldn’t stomach anymore, you were going to move on to the next thing…even if that meant stepping on or over me to get it!”
She finally let a chuckle escape her, “Bravo Kate! Well done! You are the same old person you have always been. The same backstabbing, bandwagon riding, double talking twat that you have been from the start! I really have to wonder if you were ever really serious about winning the tag team titles with me at all or if this was just another attempt for you to raise your stock in this business however you could …just to make yourself out to be the BIG STAR…to be the MAIN ATTRACTION!” Kenzi had to throw back her head and laugh at that. “Well, congratulations Kate, not on becoming a star or a main attraction. No, thanks for reminding everyone in LAW exactly who you REALLY are! Thank you for reminding me who you REALLY are!”
Kenzi stood up, pointing into the camera as anger and rage began to bubble to the surface. “I blame myself for thinking that you were really ever on my side! I should have known from the very start that you are only on one person’s side…YOUR OWN! That is why you messaged me…spewing out all this fucking bullshit that I ate up like a fat kid in a candy store!”
Kenzi did her best Kate Steele impression as she read Kate’s text message to her from last month;
“Kenzi, I was wrong for putting you in a bad position, it was really low of me. You probably hate me and I’m okay with that. I wish the best for you and Sarah. Truly I do…”
Kenzi rolled her eyes as she sighed. “BITCH, YOU GOT SOME FUCKING NERVE SENDING ME THAT SHIT IN PRIVATE, THEN COMING AT ME IN PUBLIC!!”
Kenzi pulled up the tweet that started them down the path to this collision at LAW #66…
Kenzi shook her head angrily, “You were better off without me? BITCH, YOU WERE NO WHERE WITHOUT ME GIVING YOU OPPORTUNITY AFTER OPPORTUNITY! You weren’t doing shit in the wrestling ring after Mackenzie Roberts beat your ass and took the Marquee Title from you! You started up that Pink Ladies horseshit because you couldn’t stand to watch as The Kentourage was taking off with Orchid and I as champions…the two of us doing promotions and having success on a popular television show! You wanted to put yourself over by burying us! When you couldn’t block our shine, you threw in with me and pretended to be my friend right up until it was time to finally step up…and then you fell flat!”
Kenzi paced around the bathroom, feet crunching on broken shards of mirror on the floor. “At LAW #66…you get the match that you begged for! You get the match that you charged the ring and got your ass kicked for! You get a chance to get your lying sack of shit ass cheered by a bunch of doe eyed fans who don’t know what a real piece of shit you actually are!” She smiled into the camera, “You also get a chance to have your goddamn head knocked off a second time…and trust me…it WILL happen! But, enough about all that…let me take a few minutes to address the partner you conned into backing you up!”
Kenzi hopped into the window sill as she held her phone out so that the view from outside served as a backdrop as she turned her attention away from Kate. “Kelly Fox…I don’t know if you remember me, I certainly remember you and the rest of the Alliance of Violence. I remember how you guys ran roughshod over LAW back in the day and I also remember how Kate Steele dyed her hair and got herself all tatted up just so she could ride that wave of success that you guys paved as dominant tag team champions.” Kenzi shook her head with a chuckle, “Sounds like a running theme, doesn’t it Kelly? Well…if it sounds like that to you, it’s because that is exactly how it is right now! Same old Kate Steele…sucking up to be part of something she had no hand in creating just so she can try her best to take it over and get what she wants out of it!”
Kenzi closed her eyes as she lay back as the sun shone on her face through the tempered glass. She had been in the bathroom for hours brooding over Sarah’s deception, not wanting to leave, but the sun beaming down on her made her feel a bit better. She looked back into the camera, her eyes filled with growing determination. “I don’t know what Kate offered you to come back to LAW…to come back and bring not only yourself, but Jaymie Boone and Ashlie Helms as well, but I’m gonna tell you straight up, don’t count on this homecoming being a glorious one for you and your team…”
She paused, unsure of what the future held for her and Sarah, but she knew that she wanted to find a way to make it work…she had to. “…there’s a new team in LAW…and we are going to be the team to welcome you back at LAW #66 and we are going to be the team to show you right back out the door when that match ends! The simple fact of the matter is that you picked the losing side by deciding to make your big return with Flip Floppity Fuckhole Kate Steele as your partner! I don’t know what she tempted you with...maybe she's in love with you too now, either way, I don’t care because this isn’t 2015 and this isn’t the same LAW that you remember. You damn well better bring your ‘A’ game, because Team Kickass will be bringing theirs! Whether you believe it or not, that shit doesn't bode too well for you.”
Kenzi sat forward, the look on her face finally one of resolute determination, even in the face of such turmoil and uncertainty. “Kate…I want you to take note of what happens on Sunday in this match! I want you to pay close attention to what kind of a shit storm you just dragged Kelly into because you’re such a jealous bandwagon riding piece of garbage! You can talk about me and what I have done all you like Kate, but you damn well better make sure that you take a good hard look at yourself and see what part in all of this you’ve played as well! You got carried out of the building at LAW #65 because of a bunch of shit that YOU started! There is going to be a repeat of that at LAW #66, once again because of some shit that YOU started!”
“Do yourself a favor…stop and look back at your career and then look at what you have done to get ahead. Take a good look at the people you have stepped on and taken advantage of to get where you are. I don’t know if you’ll be proud or if you’ll be embarrassed. I don’t know if you’ll lie to yourself and consider it a success or if you’ll be honest and realize that you aren’t any better than me. You have gotten by on clinging to others to get yourself noticed…just like you did with me! Well, you got what you wanted…you got to grab yourself a headline and another 15 minutes of fame. Don’t count on it lasting Kate…just like you shouldn’t count on making it past Sarah in the next round of the Queen of the Ring…assuming you make it out of the ring on Sunday!”
“Sarah is hell-bent on making you her bitch in Long Beach…but me? I’m just hell-bent on making you history…just like The Alliance of Violence!”
Kenzi shut off the camera and sent her video off to be witnessed by the intended masses as she herself sat in the bathroom still wondering what would become of her and not only her tag team partner, but the woman she was still madly in love with…despite the deception she had perpetrated. That seemed to be a running theme these days, everyone lied…
…but maybe it wasn’t so much the lie that mattered…as it was the why the lie had been told…
Kenzi played with her phone, her fingers lingering over several ignored calls from Sarah. She hadn’t said that it was over…she said that she needed to breathe. Maybe that meant that there was hope for the two of them after all. She pressed the call button and waited…not sure if she really wanted Sarah to answer or not.
Sarah answered in short order, “Beloved, are you alright…?”
Kenzi nearly hung up, but she steeled herself, taking a deep breath…the same thing that Sarah had left her to do. “No…I'm not alright...but I’m ready to talk…”
Talk they did...and it was long, hard, and it was far from easy. It was astounding to see how quickly a lie could destroy something that thought was so perfect. It would be far less easy to make things right again...assuming they even could be right again.
One needed room to breathe...
The other needed to learn to breathe on her own...
West Hollywood, California
July 18, 2017
The morning of Sarah’s trip to New York City for her LAW Outreach Program with Angie Vaughn was a sober one for Kenzi. Despite the long night of fun they had together, Kenzi didn’t sleep a wink. She laid in bed watching Sarah doze…her pale, but curvy frame rose and fell with each passing breath. She was a vision to Kenzi, even as she lay their asleep, her hair spread out around her like a platinum veil. She as so in love with her…it actually hurt to look and not touch her.
…BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ...
Kenzi sucked her teeth as she fumbled for her phone, glancing at it and seeing the number for the studio on the screen. She hit ignore, refusing to pick up the phone, just as she had since Hexx when on its mid-season break several months ago. That break should have ended last month, but Kenzi hadn't returned to compete her work...she was too busy being in love.
In fact, her last few projects had been affected by her feelings for Sarah. The last project she finished from start to finish was one that Sarah was on, 'All That Glitters.' It was the movie that had brought them together. After they became an item, they were inseparable on set. Kenzi’s next big project was 'Silent, but Deadly' but after Sarah dropped out of the project because of differences with the writer, Kenzi's took it upon herself to greatly reduce her role in the movie from co-star to dying before the opening credits.
Kenzi didn't see it...or didn't care. Sarah was her life now and she didn't give a damn about anything or anyone else. Sarah had only spent one day away from her since they became lovers...and this morning would be the last that they spent together for two solid days. She woke Sarah up at the ass-crack of dawn and she loved her harder than she ever had before. She wanted to give her lover a reason to miss her…wanted to give her a reason to hurry home. She even took to biting Sarah’s shoulder...marking her territory, to make sure that Angie Vaughn would see the love mark and would be warned to watch her step.
When they were done, Sarah was left barely able to move, but move she did. She had an early flight out and Kenzi sent her to shower as she looked to making sure her lover's needs were taken care of. She planned out every detail and left nothing to chance, Frick and a pair of Handmaidens were at the ready for the drive to the airport and the long trip. The two ate breakfast together, laughing at first then growing silent as the time to go drew close. When they separated at the airport, there was a lot of long silences, handholding, and kisses...but not many parting words, other than to "take care" "be safe" "enjoy yourself, but not too much...bitch."
Kenzi tried to pretend to be okay for Sarah, but it was just pretend. She sat and watched the plane, not moving until it was in the air and well out of sight. Frack, Sarah’s other bodyguard nearly had to carry her to the car and put her inside for the drive home...back to her mother...back to the Hell without her Baby...
CIRCLE TELEVISION STUDIOS
Los Angeles, California
Later that day...
Kenzi walked into the television studio that produced her television show and eyes widened and jaws dropped in surprise. The star hadn’t graced the set in weeks and finally she was back and all was right with the world. The new season of Hexx would soon be hitting television screens all over the world now that she had returned. For her part, getting back into the game was slow going at first, but she got back into the swing of things as the day progressed. The in-studio grind would be a good way to pass the time and distract her from Sarah being gone and get through the next 48 hours of being a solo act.
…DING...
She glanced down at her phone and a pang of both jealousy and pride filled her. The LAW Outreach Program was in full swing in New York City. Sarah had hit the ground running with an early start at the side of Angie Vaughn and for only the second time in their storied history, Kenzi was on the outside looking in. Sarah and Angie were beautiful together as they lit up New York City. Indeed, they were both shining like diamonds while all Kenzi could do was watch…
It was that reality that made this all so much easier to swallow. Sarah was living the dream that Kenzi had for herself...to be regaled by LAW and heralded as the future of the business. Kenzi had never been mentioned favorably by LAW, not even once...not even when carrying one of it's championships. She had busted her hump promoting LAW, going to rival promotions, doing charity events, but it never mattered and it never raised her profile a single notch. Sarah was on a rocket ship to the top, she had managed to avoid the stigma of her association with Kenzi, and that was a good thing for her.
Kenzi had almost begged to go with Sarah, but she had insisted that she stay behind and bond with her mother. Sarah would go to New York with Angie and they would promote Queen of the Ring and Sidney's newest acquisition, Renati Brand Apparel. Kenzi was so jealous that she thought that there might be a green tint to her skin, but at the end of the day, all that mattered was being happy for Sarah. That also meant defending her against the haters as well. Maggie Lockheart, the girlfriend of Sam Tolson was quick to go after Sarah while she posted her promotional pictures, and Kenzi was right there to defend her...only what came next was more of a slap in the face of Kenzi than it was for The Firestarter...
…BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ...
Kenzi stared at the phone, dreading to answer it, but desperately needing to know why her Baby had lied to her. She had never given her any reason to doubt her and honesty had been the bedrock of their relationship from the very start. Without trust, there was nothing…now Kenzi was left to wonder how much of their life together was a lie.
She fingered the black diamond ring that she wore on her necklace. Her fingers trembled as she held it. It had always comforted her before, but now whatever mystical power it held was gone…maybe gone for good…
…START VIDEO CHAT...
Sarah is visibly shaken and her face is even more pale than usual. She stands in a corner and the tip of her Renati symbol, her firebird on flight, can be seen on the breast of her dress. "I-I'm sorry. I...um...I needed some space to get some work done. Things I have been working on. I needed to start this Renati line. To push my face for UGWC. Other...things."
Ken nods curtly, the camera dips, her face no longer in the frame. "H-How much...space...?" Her voice cracks as she asks the question. "...should I pack...?"
Sarah's eyes glisten. "No! Baby, no no no no no...it’s not like that! I just..." She closes her eyes and lets out a big breath. "I needed to breathe for a couple of days." She opens her eyes and is physically fighting back tears. "The last five months have been magical, but I just can't breathe lately."
Kenzi stiffened as she answered, "...okay...Thursday then..." then abruptly shut off her phone, tears beating a hot trail down her cheeks.
…VIDEO CHAT ENDED...
Kenzi broke down as she ran to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her, barely able to breathe. She slid down the back of the door, hands covering her face as she thought of all the time they had shared together for the last five months. In all that time, her only thoughts had been of Sarah, morning, noon, and night. She had hardly ever been out of the girl’s sight…that was how much she loved her. Kenzi had followed her all over the planet with hardly a word or complaint. So long as she was beside Sarah, the rest of the world didn’t matter to her. Now, in that one act of deception it was all gone.
Every beautiful memory the two had made was now colored with the doubt of Sarah’s lie. Yes, she had run off to New York City with another woman. Spending two wonderful days and glorious nights in public, taking pictures together like a couple while Kenzi sat at home…alone…like a goddamn fool.
Kenzi screamed as she got to her feet and drove her fist into the bathroom mirror, shattering the image of herself as shards tumbled onto the vanity and floor. She glared at the broken reflection that remained…fractured and most importantly, alone. She fell back down to the knees, chest heaving as she struggled to catch her breath. Her mind raced with the all manner of crazy thoughts of Sarah and Angie together; kissing, touching, fuc…
“…oh God…” Kenzi crawled into one of the stalls and vomited into the toilet, tears streaking her face and her body quaking. She felt like she was dying…
…KNOCK, KNOCK...
“Kenz? Are you okay?”
Her mother’s voice was the last thing she wanted to hear right now. “GO AWAY! I’M FI…” She retched again, as she was unable to control gnawing feeling in the pit of her stomach.
“I’m coming in!” Sid rushed in and went to her daughter’s side. Her face was colored with concern as she held her Kenzi’s hair as she continued to vomit. Sid patted her back, trying her best to comfort her. “I’m here…you don’t have to worr…”
Kenzi whirled on her, eyes burning with anger and rage. “You lied to me! You told me that Sarah was going to New York for LAW…IT WAS A LIE, YOU FUCKING LIED TO ME!!”
Sid took a deep breath, straightening herself. Sid had set up the trip, and her agenda had been clear from the start; put Sarah and Kenzi at odds. She sent Sarah to New York with Angie Vaughn and she arranged for the two to not only share a room, but a bed. She knew that Sarah was a giant lesbian whore who couldn’t resist the urge to diddle another woman…given the chance. Kenzi needed to be made to see that what she had with Sarah wasn’t real…she needed to see the truth and finally listen to her mother.
Sid stood back, taking a deep breath as she faced the accusation. “I lied…AFTER Sarah made up the thing about the trip being for LAW. It was never my intent to lie Kenzi, but I did go along with it, yes.”
Kenzi pulled herself up, her face a wet, mascara streaked mess. She wiped at her cheeks angrily. “…how could you…?” her voice was a low hiss. “…what were you thinking? TELL ME!!”
Sid took a step back in the face of her daughter’s rage. Her heels crunched in the broken shards of mirror scattered across the floor. “I NEED YOU TO WAKE UP! I need you to see that this thing that you think you have isn’t real! You’re both two stupid girls playing at being a couple…pretending to be in love! What you’re doing is disgusting! ITS DISGUSTING KENZI!! YOU’RE NOT A LES…
Kenzi charged at her and Sid backed away, slipping and sliding back to the door as Kenzi fell against the sink, her eyes blazing with rage. “YOU DID THIS!!”
Sid held up her hands, “I led her to the water…she's the one that drank! She’s the one that lied to you. She’s the one that’s in New York with Angie!” Sid stood straighter, meeting her child’s gaze with indignation. “Sarah is a greedy little bitch who wants the world and everything in it…but she wants it on her own terms! You think she loves you? She loves the fact that she owns you! You think she wants a life with you? She wants you in her life when it is convenient for her!” Sid took a step towards Kenzi, trying to show her that she was really on her side. “What more proof do you need? She’s a goddamn whore who will do anything for herself! She doesn’t care about you…no one cares about you except for me, your mother!”
Sid took a deep breath, lifting her chin as she prepared to give Kenzi a dose of the truth. She needed to hear this and she needed to hear it right now. “I freely admit, that what I did…sending Sarah and Angie away together was a bit nasty…a bit underhanded, but it needed to be done. You’re my child and you deserve to be with someone with which you have a future; and as much as I like Sarah…and I truly do like her, there is NO future with someone like her! The whole lesbian thing is bad enough, but Sarah is a creature of violent tendencies with a desire to fight any and every one in her the way of her goals. I don’t fear this quality, I recognize and admire it…she is like me, or at least who I use to be before my career was taken away.” Sid could see Kenzi flinch at the mention of that.
“My child deserves a better life than that…you deserve better than me! I don’t care if you love Sarah and I don’t care that you heart is broken in a million million pieces, as you so eloquently put on social media; I won’t allow you to throw your future in the toilet for a goddamn ring monkey! This life is not easy…it’s hard and it’s thankless, except for the very few fans who don’t come to see your tits flop out or your brains get dashed out of your skull. You do this because you love combat, you love to fight and to win. What future is there with someone like that, like her, like she and I?”
“I would rather see you with a good man with a life and children in the offering. If I can’t get that, I’d settle for a bad man, so long as he was a fucking man! Kenzi, you may not forgive me for sending Sarah and Angie on that trip to New York together, but you will thank me in time when you realize that I saved you from a life of pain killers, hotel rooms that smell of piss, and the slim to none chance of being something great in this industry!”
“I took my shot and I was great! I was every bit as good as Sarah is right now. I was strong as an ox and meaner than a pissed off rattlesnake. I cussed, I drank, I fucked, and I fought…I did all those things and I did them all while being in love with the business of professional wrestling. It was my life, the only one I dreamed about until it was ripped out of my hands by injury. I fought to get back, but I never did…not like I wanted to. I neglected all the best things in life, including you…” Sid paused, finally looking sincere for the first time in a long time. “…I did that, just to get back to all of the things I warned you about; and for what? What did it gain me? What magical prize did I win?”
Sid let her shoulders slump, “ “I’m a bitter old woman and I have nothing to show for the years I spent. The greatest accomplishment that I can lay claim to is shitting out a kid that I was too drunk and drugged up to raise myself. That is not the life I want for you, but that is the life that you’re chasing after! Sarah’s life, not yours! You would see the truth in my words and the stupidity of this all if you weren’t suffering from snow blindness! That Lackland girl has her claws in deep, but I will find a way to pull them loose before it’s too late!”
Kenzi lowered her head, her long dark braids obscuring her face as she spoke, her voice low and hoarse with emotion. “…you should get out…now…”
Sid took another step towards her, reaching out. “Kenz, I…”
“GET OUT!! GET THE FUCK OUT!!” she screamed and Sid staggered back as Kenzi rushed at her. She opened the door and fell outside as Kenzi slammed it shut and locked it. She beat her fist against the door leaving a bloody smear from the cut on her right hand. She turned, sliding back down to the floor, sobbing uncontrollably.
She didn’t know how much of what her mother said was true, but she did know that Sarah had lied to her…broken their sacred rule to never be false with one another. That was the bedrock of their relationship…it was trust…without it, there was nothing…nothing at all. Sarah has taken that solid foundation and shattered it…along with her heart.
Kenzi sat there remarking on how she actually deserved this. It was the chickens coming home to roost. This is what Kate Steele felt when Kenzi lied to her and pretended to be in love with her. Is that was Sarah was doing? Pretending to be in love with her? Using her…playing some kind of sick game?
This was karma…this was Kenzi getting what she deserved…wasn’t it?
A FEW HOURS LATER...
Kenzi had sat in the bathroom for hours subtweeting the world her angst. Sarah called her over and over while her mother texted her from just outside; she ignored them all. She was hurting like hell and all she could thing about was Kate Steele and how similar this situation was. Kate had poured out her heart to Kenzi to profess her love…and Kenzi had lied to Kate, pretended to love her back in order to get what she wanted. This was getting what you deserved on a cosmic scale.
Kenzi took her phone, set it to record as she held it in her shaking hands. Her agonized face filled the screen, smeared with dark mascara and wet with tears, she took to addressing things directly with her former tag team partner…
“Kate…” Her voice was strained and she sniffed, using her free hand to drag the hair out of face, tears still trickling down.
“…I want to say I’m sorry for what I did to you. I know that I apologized already. I know you accepted it and I know we said we would put it behind us…we would move on together. Maybe make another run at those tag team titles down the road after Queen of the Ring. We said a lot of things…but…it didn’t matter because you couldn’t get past the lie that I told after you said that you loved me…”
Kenzi took a deep breath, hitching as she struggled to catch and hold it. “I justified lying to you because I wanted something…I wanted to achieve something in LAW and finally get what I thought I deserved. Obviously, we didn’t get that…we didn’t get anything at all for our hard work…and my deception. I can’t undo what happened Kate…I can’t un-tell the lie I told you and I can’t undo the horrible feelings that lead us to this point where you and I are now at odds…again.” She straightened, throwing back her shoulders as she did, “I can tell you this Kate; I know what I did was wrong and I won’t justify it further by saying that you shouldn’t have fallen in love with me. That’s a cop out. You deserve better because I know now that the heart wants what the heart wants…there’s nothing you can say or do in the face of that…”
Kenzi looked down, her thoughts turning to the situation between her and Sarah. Her heart wanted Sarah…still…no matter what her mother said, she still loved Sarah, even if she was 2.780 miles away and sleeping with another woman. It was like a knife in her chest…yet…she could not easily turn off her love for the woman who had opened a whole new world to her.
When she spoke again, it was from the heart, but the person it was directed to could not easily be discerned, “…I don’t know if you ever really loved me or if was just the fact it was convenient because I was right there. Maybe you loved me…maybe you still do…maybe you don’t anymore…maybe you never did…” her voice grew small as her eyes dropped and she struggled to hold the phone steady in her hands. She squeezed her eyes shut tight as she cursed under her breath…
“…fuck…”
She took a deep breath, raising up the phone. When she spoke again, her voice was a bit stronger…her eyes a bit more focused, but there was still a question about to whom she was speaking, “I was hurt and I was angry when you lied to me. You looked me in my face and told me that everything was okay between us. I believed you…I trusted you. But everything wasn’t okay between us…was it…WAS IT?!” Her face flushed red with rage, “GODDAMN YOU! GODDAMN YOU TO HELL!”
She shook her head, her hand rubbing her face, trying to clear away the pain and the hurt. This situation was tearing her to pieces. She had lost a friend because of a lie and she had lost the love of her life because of another lie. It was too much…but…she’d have to deal with it…she’d have to deal with them both.
When she spoke again, there was no doubt who she was addressing. “Kate…I don’t know what I did to make you think that you loved me. God in Heaven, I wish that I knew, I would bottle it and give it away for free if I could! All I ever wanted was to be loved…that’s all any of us can ever really hope for, isn’t it?” Kenzi sniffed, wiping away a final tear. “I don’t love you…I care about you as a friend, but I don’t love you and I never did. I never will love you…I know that because I love someone else who may or may not still love me. I get that you are upset and that you think I did something terrible to you…but this, this is all of your own making Kate! You are the one that begged me to stay in LAW and you are the one that smiled in my face and said that this was all behind us, then took to social media to talk shit about Sarah after we buried the hatchet!”
Kenzi leaned back against the door, a smirk touching the corners of her lips. “But…that is what you do, isn’t it? That is what you have always done. I watched you for a lot longer than you know Kate. I watched you latch on to the flavor of the month and ride those coattails until you crashed and burned or until it suited you to jump ship and move on to the next thing that you could try to leech a few more moments of fame out of. You have done that your entire career Kate and I should have known that was what you were planning to do with me in Guilty Pleasure. You were going to ride that wave for as long as you could…and then…after you got what you wanted, after you got so big and bloated that you couldn’t stomach anymore, you were going to move on to the next thing…even if that meant stepping on or over me to get it!”
She finally let a chuckle escape her, “Bravo Kate! Well done! You are the same old person you have always been. The same backstabbing, bandwagon riding, double talking twat that you have been from the start! I really have to wonder if you were ever really serious about winning the tag team titles with me at all or if this was just another attempt for you to raise your stock in this business however you could …just to make yourself out to be the BIG STAR…to be the MAIN ATTRACTION!” Kenzi had to throw back her head and laugh at that. “Well, congratulations Kate, not on becoming a star or a main attraction. No, thanks for reminding everyone in LAW exactly who you REALLY are! Thank you for reminding me who you REALLY are!”
Kenzi stood up, pointing into the camera as anger and rage began to bubble to the surface. “I blame myself for thinking that you were really ever on my side! I should have known from the very start that you are only on one person’s side…YOUR OWN! That is why you messaged me…spewing out all this fucking bullshit that I ate up like a fat kid in a candy store!”
Kenzi did her best Kate Steele impression as she read Kate’s text message to her from last month;
“Kenzi, I was wrong for putting you in a bad position, it was really low of me. You probably hate me and I’m okay with that. I wish the best for you and Sarah. Truly I do…”
Kenzi rolled her eyes as she sighed. “BITCH, YOU GOT SOME FUCKING NERVE SENDING ME THAT SHIT IN PRIVATE, THEN COMING AT ME IN PUBLIC!!”
Kenzi pulled up the tweet that started them down the path to this collision at LAW #66…
Kenzi shook her head angrily, “You were better off without me? BITCH, YOU WERE NO WHERE WITHOUT ME GIVING YOU OPPORTUNITY AFTER OPPORTUNITY! You weren’t doing shit in the wrestling ring after Mackenzie Roberts beat your ass and took the Marquee Title from you! You started up that Pink Ladies horseshit because you couldn’t stand to watch as The Kentourage was taking off with Orchid and I as champions…the two of us doing promotions and having success on a popular television show! You wanted to put yourself over by burying us! When you couldn’t block our shine, you threw in with me and pretended to be my friend right up until it was time to finally step up…and then you fell flat!”
Kenzi paced around the bathroom, feet crunching on broken shards of mirror on the floor. “At LAW #66…you get the match that you begged for! You get the match that you charged the ring and got your ass kicked for! You get a chance to get your lying sack of shit ass cheered by a bunch of doe eyed fans who don’t know what a real piece of shit you actually are!” She smiled into the camera, “You also get a chance to have your goddamn head knocked off a second time…and trust me…it WILL happen! But, enough about all that…let me take a few minutes to address the partner you conned into backing you up!”
Kenzi hopped into the window sill as she held her phone out so that the view from outside served as a backdrop as she turned her attention away from Kate. “Kelly Fox…I don’t know if you remember me, I certainly remember you and the rest of the Alliance of Violence. I remember how you guys ran roughshod over LAW back in the day and I also remember how Kate Steele dyed her hair and got herself all tatted up just so she could ride that wave of success that you guys paved as dominant tag team champions.” Kenzi shook her head with a chuckle, “Sounds like a running theme, doesn’t it Kelly? Well…if it sounds like that to you, it’s because that is exactly how it is right now! Same old Kate Steele…sucking up to be part of something she had no hand in creating just so she can try her best to take it over and get what she wants out of it!”
Kenzi closed her eyes as she lay back as the sun shone on her face through the tempered glass. She had been in the bathroom for hours brooding over Sarah’s deception, not wanting to leave, but the sun beaming down on her made her feel a bit better. She looked back into the camera, her eyes filled with growing determination. “I don’t know what Kate offered you to come back to LAW…to come back and bring not only yourself, but Jaymie Boone and Ashlie Helms as well, but I’m gonna tell you straight up, don’t count on this homecoming being a glorious one for you and your team…”
She paused, unsure of what the future held for her and Sarah, but she knew that she wanted to find a way to make it work…she had to. “…there’s a new team in LAW…and we are going to be the team to welcome you back at LAW #66 and we are going to be the team to show you right back out the door when that match ends! The simple fact of the matter is that you picked the losing side by deciding to make your big return with Flip Floppity Fuckhole Kate Steele as your partner! I don’t know what she tempted you with...maybe she's in love with you too now, either way, I don’t care because this isn’t 2015 and this isn’t the same LAW that you remember. You damn well better bring your ‘A’ game, because Team Kickass will be bringing theirs! Whether you believe it or not, that shit doesn't bode too well for you.”
Kenzi sat forward, the look on her face finally one of resolute determination, even in the face of such turmoil and uncertainty. “Kate…I want you to take note of what happens on Sunday in this match! I want you to pay close attention to what kind of a shit storm you just dragged Kelly into because you’re such a jealous bandwagon riding piece of garbage! You can talk about me and what I have done all you like Kate, but you damn well better make sure that you take a good hard look at yourself and see what part in all of this you’ve played as well! You got carried out of the building at LAW #65 because of a bunch of shit that YOU started! There is going to be a repeat of that at LAW #66, once again because of some shit that YOU started!”
“Do yourself a favor…stop and look back at your career and then look at what you have done to get ahead. Take a good look at the people you have stepped on and taken advantage of to get where you are. I don’t know if you’ll be proud or if you’ll be embarrassed. I don’t know if you’ll lie to yourself and consider it a success or if you’ll be honest and realize that you aren’t any better than me. You have gotten by on clinging to others to get yourself noticed…just like you did with me! Well, you got what you wanted…you got to grab yourself a headline and another 15 minutes of fame. Don’t count on it lasting Kate…just like you shouldn’t count on making it past Sarah in the next round of the Queen of the Ring…assuming you make it out of the ring on Sunday!”
“Sarah is hell-bent on making you her bitch in Long Beach…but me? I’m just hell-bent on making you history…just like The Alliance of Violence!”
Kenzi shut off the camera and sent her video off to be witnessed by the intended masses as she herself sat in the bathroom still wondering what would become of her and not only her tag team partner, but the woman she was still madly in love with…despite the deception she had perpetrated. That seemed to be a running theme these days, everyone lied…
…but maybe it wasn’t so much the lie that mattered…as it was the why the lie had been told…
Kenzi played with her phone, her fingers lingering over several ignored calls from Sarah. She hadn’t said that it was over…she said that she needed to breathe. Maybe that meant that there was hope for the two of them after all. She pressed the call button and waited…not sure if she really wanted Sarah to answer or not.
Sarah answered in short order, “Beloved, are you alright…?”
Kenzi nearly hung up, but she steeled herself, taking a deep breath…the same thing that Sarah had left her to do. “No…I'm not alright...but I’m ready to talk…”
Talk they did...and it was long, hard, and it was far from easy. It was astounding to see how quickly a lie could destroy something that thought was so perfect. It would be far less easy to make things right again...assuming they even could be right again.
One needed room to breathe...
The other needed to learn to breathe on her own...
[TO BE CONTINUED]
