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Post by Publicist on May 28, 2019 10:01:19 GMT -5
HEAVENLY INSPIRATION | LOSSES
“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: Can we talk about a friend of the Hit Girls? I want to talk about Sativa Nevaeh…the only member of the Cool Kids that was drafted to another team, in this case, the Las Vegas Sabres. Sativa was the leading receiver and scored the only touchdown for their team. She put in a heck of a lot of work and I just wanted to recognize that effort since her coach pretty much told her to stuff it after the preseason loss to the LA Blackout.
VENUS FLYTRAP: Yeah, I saw that exchange, it was just post-game banter, but he’s the coach and that is his call to make on how he motivates HIS team. For all we know, the Sabres come back next week and they take that venom and really lay the opposition out.
“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: Maybe Venus, but this brings up another point I want to talk about…losses! It is only preseason, but sooner or later all teams are going to have to deal with taking a loss. I want to know how you think Cincy should deal with defeat when it happens? Do you think that Sidney Grey should deliver tough love or do you think a more mild approach would be better?
VENUS FLYTRAP: Hey! That is for the coach to decide…not you, me, or anyone else. The same goes for celebrating a win or a loss in my opinion. How your team does it is your business!
“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: I hope that when that time comes, our girls hold their heads up high and learn from that loss without getting run down and dragged through the mud. That is what I hope!
VENUS FLYTRAP: Like I said…that is the business of the coach! Maybe tough love is what motivates them…not getting treated with kid gloves.
“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: Well, we will have to wait and see what happens…when the time comes. Until then, I do want to send a shout out to Sativa for a solid performance on Friday, all the same.
VENUS FLYTRAP: Is she your weed connect Doc?
“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: I write my own prescriptions, thank you very much!
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Post by Publicist on May 28, 2019 10:02:37 GMT -5
STONE VS. BENTON DEBATE II
“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: With preseason game 1 in the books, we got our first look at Virginia Stone, the big time defensive signing that Sidney Grey made before Sarah Lacklan could finish negotiations with Emma Benton of the LA Blackout. We got a look at both women in action and I want to know what you thought about it Venus?
VENUS FLYTRAP: Personally…I think Sidney made a HUGE mistake! Emma has league experience and she was a big time player for her team last year. The Blackout did some serious damage and she was a HUGE part of that. Bottom line…I think Sarah is going to be none too pleased!
“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: You serious Venus? It’s one game…and it is preseason at that! Too early to tell who is going to really catch fire!
VENUS FLYTRAP: I watched Emma! She was FIRE! She got 5 tackles, 1 for a loss, a sack and she completely leveled someone with a pancake! You can’t tell me that Sid didn’t screw the pooch!
“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: Virginia is a rookie and she is just getting her feet wet in the game. She laid out two people on the field and really made a physical statement!
VENUS FLYTRAP: She also got a 5 yard penalty for holding!
“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: She got a penalty Venus, it is going to happen! This is a game and the rules get bent all the time…Virginia got caught, on one play. She is going to buckle down and she is going to continue to be a force out there on the field.
VENUS FLYTRAP: Well…there is still time to get Emma!
“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: The Hit Girls coaching staff thinks different.
VENUS FLYTRAP: Maybe Sarah should fire all of them as well!
“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: You are just an angry angry man…aren’t you?
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Post by Publicist on May 28, 2019 10:03:19 GMT -5
VIOLENCE IS SEXY | BAD KITTY IS GOOD
“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: We talked about penalties on the last segment, but we didn’t talk about the fact that one member of the Hit Girls racked up a huge unnecessary roughness penalty that equaled all of the penalty yards that were accessed to our team. Alexis Blake is just a nasty NASTY player and I am thinking that Sidney Grey needs to step in and calm her down before she costs herself…or more importantly our team!
VENUS FLYTRAP: HOLD ON DOCTOR! Alexis might have got carried away once…but look at the other stat…she led the team pancake blocks! She set more chicks on their asses than a toilet stool!
“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: She brought the lumber, but she needs to calm down! Before the game, she made no bones over social media that she was ready to go out there and hit someone!
VENUS FLYTRAP: Doc, everyone was talking about hitting people…Alexis was the one to go out there and do it!
“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: I’m just thinking that it makes our team look dirty.
VENUS FLYTRAP: She makes our team look vicious is what she does! Sidney Grey made no bones about it, she said that Alexis was the team Enforcer and she lived up to that moniker!
“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: Hopefully Trixie or someone else out there will calm her down before the next game!
VENUS FLYTRAP: I already told you, Trixie is up to no damn good! She’s too quiet and too supposedly squeaky clean! Hell…for all we know, Trixie is just as bad…she just didn’t get caught…this time!
“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: She’s a good girl Venus.
VENUS FLYTRAP: Good at being bad and NOT getting caught!
“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: You need help V…serious help!
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Post by Publicist on May 28, 2019 10:06:16 GMT -5
GAME ONE | THE BLAME GAME “DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: Game one of the season is in the books and it is a loss for the Hit Girls against division rival Denver in what would have been a rout had it not been for the defense play of Trixie who scored our only touchdown on an interception return.
VENUS FLYTRAP: Man, it was JUST like I told you! This is ALL Kenzi Grey’s fault! If she was more focused on football instead of flying exotic animals around the world, we would have won that damn game!
“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: Look, Cincy lost that game straight up to the Diva’s and you can’t put the blame all on one person. To be honest, statistically the Hit Girls didn’t do bad at all, we were neck and neck in all categories.
VENUS FLYTRAP: Except the one that counts…POINTS! That is on Grey! She needs to put the ball in the hands of the people who can score and stop with all the foolishness!
“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: Careful, you are gonna get fined again for talking about the owner’s wife! The ONLY reason you didn’t get fined earlier this week is because Kenzi spoke up on your behalf. Instead of running her down, you should be thanking her.
VENUS FLYTRAP: I’ll thank her when she produces for this team instead of sitting back and forcing Trixie and the others to make up for her slack!
“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: Again, in her defense, she was sacked 5 times and Ashley Marie Chase actually gave up 2 of them. So, maybe it’s more of a team thing, you know?
VENUS FLYTRAP: Don’t be trying to blame AMC! She’s NOT the team captain…but she should be! She was supposed to be the quarterback before Kenzi swooped in and took the job…BECAUSE SHE IS SLEEPING WITH THE OWNER OF THE TEAM!!
“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: Venus…they are married.
VENUS FLYTRAP: Are they Doctor…ARE THEY?
“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: I feel like you really REALLY want to get fired…
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Post by Publicist on May 28, 2019 10:07:09 GMT -5
TRICKY TRADE DEALS “DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: Trixie has opened quite a few eyes with her solid preseason performance and her Defensive Player of the Game honors on Friday. It stands to reason that other teams are looking to fill holes in their roster and who better to go after than ‘Ms. Bad Kitty!’
VENUS FLYTRAP: What you talking bout Doctor?!
“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: Take a look at this Daddy!
VENUS FLYTRAP: NAW MAN!! HELL NAW! THEY CAN’T HAVE OUR TRIXIE!!
“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: I feel you Venus, I really do, but Trixie has been playing some of the best football on both sides of the field, offense and defense. Interest is going to be high in a player with her skill.
VENUS FLYTRAP: Not to mention dem ti…
“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: VENUS!!
VENUS FLYTRAP: Relax Doc…I was gonna say dem tiny blue hats!
“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: Sure you were! Anyway, the only way in hell Cincy should even consider this is if we trade for The Sin City Sabres top player…Sativa Nevaeh! Then…maybe management should think about it.
VENUS FLYTRAP: Your girlfriend…FIGURES!
“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: I appreciate her talent…shut up!
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Post by Publicist on May 28, 2019 10:07:48 GMT -5
PUSSY-FOOTING AROUND “DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: Angie Vaughn has been perfect on extra points in the preseason and in game one of the regular season, but she has missed 2 field goals from 40 plus thus far. My question is, why is she struggling with those kicks?
VENUS FLYTRAP: This is a rumor I heard…but…someone told me that Angie has been missing kicks…cuz she staring at pussy!
“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: VENUS!! WHAT THE HELL DOC?!!
VENUS FLYTRAP: PUSSY CATS MAN!! PUSSY CATS!!
“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: Oh! Geez…I was pretty sure we were both fired that time!
VENUS FLYTRAP: During the Denver game, a cat wandered near the sidelines and Angie couldn’t stop staring at it. If you ask me…it was a ploy by Denver!
“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: I’m not going to go there. The Divas played a good game and that’s it.
VENUS FLYTRAP: Then where did that cat come from that Angie was staring at? Did it just magically appear?!
“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: Shit up Venus…that was for our owner. Angie needs to buckle down on those field goals. She is playing lights out on the defensive side of things; 5 pancakes and a pass deflected. She just needs to shore up that kicking game. Cats or no cats!
VENUS FLYTRAP: I want security to check for cats next game! I’m serious! Keep them cats off the field!
“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: I hope they keep YOU off the field!
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Post by Publicist on May 28, 2019 10:08:21 GMT -5
CHEERING FOR THE NEW TIGHT “DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: There was a bit of controversy during practice today. From the sound of it, Delia Darling was being impersonated on the field by Dax Beckett!
VENUS FLYTRAP: COME ON MAN!! I mean…how didn’t they know that was a man out there dressed up as our fine ass tight end?!
“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: I think it was the beard that gave him away.
VENUS FLYTRAP: I should slap you! I bet you wouldn’t say that if it was your girlfriend Sativa out there!
“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: ANYWAY! Dax was detained and from what I hear, no charges will be filed, but he will be required to make restitution to the team and Delia in particular.
VENUS FLYTRAP: They gonna make that sucka pay?
“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: They are actually going to have him join the Cheerleading Squad.
VENUS FLYTRAP: …man…you joking…right…?
“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: No joke! I heard it was a done deal for next game.
VENUS FLYTRAP: FIRST WE GOTTA PUT UP WITH GREY AND NOW WE GOT A DUDE IN A DRESS?!!! THIS TEAM IS GOING DOWN HILL SO FAST!!!
“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: You never know…he might be cute!
VENUS FLYTRAP: Yo Momma!
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