Post by Publicist on Mar 30, 2018 22:17:22 GMT -5
Preseason Game: LA Stars at Cincinnati
3/30/2018
FINAL: Stars 14 | Hit Girls 17
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“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: Well guys, the first and last preseason game of 2018 is in the books and it saw yet another nail-biter between The Hit Girls and The Stars. Last season these teams met in 2 match ups and The Stars had our number on both occasions as they won both games by a margin of less than 7 points. People expected this game to go the same way, and it did not disappoint! This game, Cincy trailed until the last 2 minutes and 45 seconds of the 4th quarter.
VENUS FLYTRAP: I thought The Stars were gonna run away with another victory here Doc! The Stars put on a masterful ground attack that netted them a 14 to 3 point advantage going into the half. Kenzi Grey was struggling to find open receivers to get into the end zone. I don’t know what kind of pep talk they got in the locker room from their new coach, Generic Heel, but whatever it was Daddy, it couldn’t have come at a better time!
“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: Cincy buckled down some tough running by Millisandre Crowthorne, who finally found the end zone on an 11 yard scamper after our ‘Defensive’ Center Cartier opened up a huge hole in the defense and sprung Crowthorne loose inside the red zone.
VENUS FLYTRAP: ‘Defensive’ Center, huh? Well, all jokes aside, Cartier was head and NECK above the rest on the O-line as she laid 5 punishing pancake blocks to turn the tide. Apparently all that trash talk really had her fired up!
“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: Cincy was behind and they were desperate. Generic Heel was quick to call for a 2-point conversion to try to close the 5 point lead by the Stars, but LA was ready for it and they stopped the attempt cold. The Hit Girls kept fighting and it didn’t seem like they would get another chance until late in the 4th quarter after key receptions by Trixie and Sativa Nevaeh put the Hit Girls on the 5 yard line. With just under 3 minutes to play, ‘The Clear Connection’ of Kenzi Grey and Roxu Cotton finally hit pay dirt with a touchdown that put The Hit Girls up by 1. Generic Heel rolled the dice a second time and the team responded as they converted a 2-point conversion to go up by 3 points with 2 minutes and 45 seconds left on the clock.
VENUS FLYTRAP: I can’t lie Doc, I saw this game being an L for The Hit Girls as The Stars started marching right back down the field. It looked like LA was going to make them pay for leaving so much time on the clock, but the game was put on ice with a very timely interception by Ashley Marie Chase to secure the preseason win at home!
“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: It was only preseason, so this game doesn’t count, but at least the team got to see where they were against a team that played them really tough last year in a pair of heartbreaking losses. Some quick takeaways for me; Kenzi was much more efficient this game, she protected the ball well and didn’t take a lot of chances. She hit all of her receivers, including the running back, only missing 8 tosses. Trixie showed why she was so highly sought after as she led all receivers with 93 yards off 6 catches. Finally, like I said before, Cartier was a bruiser on the line as she opened huge holes for the runners.
VENUS FLYTRAP: Fair enough on brown sugah, Ms. Cartier; that girl is built like a sexy Mack Truck…or maybe a sexy long neck giraffe! That being said, the OTHER one doesn’t get off that easy with me! Once again, I am not convinced that Kenzi is the answer for this team. Sure, she didn’t toss any picks and she had a very good passer rating, but if she wants to get this team anywhere near the playoffs…let alone out of the toilet of the division, she needs to score touchdowns and stop scrambling for negative yards! On to your point about Trixie; yes, she earned every penny of that restructured contract, but let’s not put her over the REAL star out there in receiving today, my Boo Roxy Cotton! She led all receivers in number of catches and she scored the touchdown that finally gave The Hit Girls the lead!
“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: Fair enough Venus! I can’t argue the stats, but it was a team effort by all of the wideouts and the Offensive Player of the Game, Milisandre. Defensively, Coda led in tackles, with 7, while standout performances were put on by Le Bord de Dieu, with 2 tackles for losses and a sack and AMC with an interception to end it.
VENUS FLYTRAP: It was a great defensive performance by all of the ladies! I am going to single out Melissa Aki who played the game with a back injury she sustained last night in a wrestling match, and she still managed to turn in 5 tackles and 2 pancake blocks! Maki is a warrior!
“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: I good game turned in by The Hit Girls, with only one minor glitch, and that came from Bordy as she picked up the only team penalty. I’m not sure if she doesn’t know the rules or she just doesn’t care, but that will need to be corrected before the season starts.
VENUS FLYTRAP: Coach Generic Heel didn’t seem to mind. Hell! I think he congratulated her on her ‘heel’ tactics on the field!
“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: Why is that not surprising. Okay folks, that will do it for the Game Day recap! Join us next time when we preview game 1 of the new season.
VENUS FLYTRAP: GOOD NIGHT!
